Had Enough

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by WU13, Apr 5, 2011.

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  1. WU13

    WU13 Active Member

    I hate promises I can't keep. Such as the one I made to my friends that I wouldn't cut again. Or the one I made where I said I wouldn't try to kill myself tonight or any other night.

    I'm such a failure.

    I'm resorting to random objects just to cause pain. Even now, I'm looking at a stapler and wanting to just put that small piece of metal through each of my fingers and through my wrist and arm and everywhere. Every little bit of pain and blood counts when all you want to do is die.

    I pushed myself too hard this time. I'm not sure I can come back off this high. When I do, I want to crash so hard that I never have to wake up again.

    So here we go...
     
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    please don't hurt yourself. you've suffered enough. it's time for some healing.
    do you have a therapist you can call? mine is great, she helps me with the urge to self harm as well as my suicidal feelings. it's nice to have a cheerleader. . .

    hang in there. keep posting. many of us can relate to what you posted,

    c
     
  3. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    I guess that none of us can really guarantee what will happen in the future, so promises of that kind can't really be kept. I think that we can only really promise to try, so long as you keep trying, you are keeping your promise as well as it can be kept.

    I hope that there is a way that you can stop hurting yourself and get better soon!

    :hug: :hug: :hug:

    :)
     
  4. WU13

    WU13 Active Member

    I'm just getting tired of being the broken record going "I'm trying... I"m trying..."
     
  5. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    yeah, I guess I don't know what else to say. I hope that things get better. :(

    idk, I'm guessing you've already checked out the si forum
     
  6. WU13

    WU13 Active Member

    yeah. and i was doing really good. until just now when a friend started yelling at me and now i'm losing it and i'm not sure what i'm going to do and i just want to cut but i know i can't.....

    and my mind is just screaming FUCK....
     
  7. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    We all fall off the wagon...we do our best and sometimes we are not happy with what that is...but we try again...as you have...instead of hearing a broken record, I hear a person who is trying very hard to do something very difficult...how brave!...big hugs
     
  8. WU13

    WU13 Active Member

    I can hear the train in the background going across campus. it's not leading to great thoughts right now

    and it's thoughts i'm not allowed to acknowledge to anyone because they'll start freaking out and i've already done that every night this week and

    i'm just ready to say goodbye and make it count
     
  9. paulholmes

    paulholmes New Member

    hollie


    Hang in there, i need help too!
    maybe we can help each other

    kisses

    Paul
     
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