Hello my dear friend, I know how you feel and I'm here for you, if you need a chat I'm online right now so feel free to vent away.
You can IM my yahoo if you want... firstname.lastname@example.org it can receive IMs from almost any other IM server such as msn, aim and the like.
I know hun sometimes the fight seems to get the best of us but you are a fighter okay so you keep getting back up learn some new coping skills new tactics so to speak to fight the battle okay Hugs to you
I so don't want to be on here right now - yesterday I thought that I didn't fit here and I was feeling worse coming here and feeling like some out of place thing - so decided to go on my merry way and get through life without posting on here - thought it may help me be less avoidant with my T - then today I get a phone call from my mother saying they think my dad has cancer. Yes that is sad for anyone to hear isn't it - but right now it feels like my dad has gone and done it again - just when I try to sort myself out with my T and stop putting everyone else first and try to learn to focus on my needs and boundaries - there he goes and gets f'in cancer and I am supposed to act like the sad upset daughter with love and warmth in my heart and I feel absolutely nothing - well no that's not right - I have this overwhelming guilt - how dare I even consider myself when my poor father probably has some terminal illness - if I can't find that love in my heart for him before he dies - where does that leave me? But he has no idea how I have struggled over the last 2 years to fight beating him to the grave - I hate him for how he treated me as a child and now I see this frail man who needs love and I just can't fucking find it!! I just don't get why my life is such an upward struggle - well no not upward, feels downward actually. I even hate writing this on here - but I'm not sure what else to do.