Had enough

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Emptysoul, May 4, 2012.

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  1. Emptysoul

    Emptysoul Well-Known Member

    Had enough of having to put a false mask on every day, ive made my mind up, done my research, know what to do and how to do it so death is certain this time.
    everythings falling apart almost everything that could go wrong has. got no job, no hope of one either, whats the point in trying.
    My heads just spinning thoughts/voices trying to pull me in 1000 directions at once, im confused, cant focus my ming keeps wandering to bad bad thought of people doing violent things to me, im missing a week and a half out of a 2 week perion, no idea what i did but im missing some very important things andcant find them typical, just cant help it need to stop it all and finish it all and kill myself, i cant really talk about it never could when i was feeling depresed i just cant run out of tears tho still want to cry
    im round a mates at the moment their none the wiser they know i havent been well but they have no real idea, whe i leave soon im going to go home get some pills, vodka, go to the rail line and that will be that, high speed trains are useful
     
  2. Whispers

    Whispers Banned Member

    Hello, Emptysoul. What specifically are the 5 biggest issues you're dealing with right now?
     
  3. Emptysoul

    Emptysoul Well-Known Member

    Dealing with past issues of bad things that have happned to me
    Going to be evicted soon as cant pay rent
    cant afford enough food to eat every day
    Im unemployed, cant get a job, cant face it
    bills bills bills
     
  4. Emptysoul

    Emptysoul Well-Known Member

    mabie i should wait...
     
  5. Whispers

    Whispers Banned Member

    Tell me more about this. As much as you feel comfortable with. Are the source of these bad feelings still in your life? Is there a reason you can't let it go or make peace with it?

    Those are easy fixes. May not seem so now, but they are. If you need me to help you with this, I can. It all centers around getting a job and saving up properly so you can enjoy life more and do the little things that make us happy like go out to dinner, see a movie, go out for a couple beverages with friends, etc. Start by going to Craigslist and every other source you can find and find a job. You'll get one of you are determined. You just have to be persistant, don't get frustrated and have willpower.

    As far as food, get food stamps. If you can't get them, I can come up with some food ideas each month based on your food budget.

    Keep your chin up. I promise you it will get better. You don't have to do it alone. I'm here for you as well as everyone else here. You can experience happiness again. It's up to you.
     
  6. Whispers

    Whispers Banned Member

    That's a wise idea. Never make any decisions when you're upset and not in a sound state of mind. That's one I live by. Decisions made when you're upset usually do not end well. Put on some happy or relaxing music you love and just relax tonight. Do something fun. Maybe go for a walk and clear your head.
     
  7. Emptysoul

    Emptysoul Well-Known Member

    check my mperious threads, i just cant deal with it, im al confused dont know what to think.
    got to go now have to leave my mates prob for the last time
     
  8. Whispers

    Whispers Banned Member

    You should stay here online and talk to me. I'm interested in what's going on with you and want to help. If you want to talk, I am here and willing. Tell or ask me anything. Let's take slow steps and get you through tonight. Tomorrow is another day.
     
  9. Emptysoul

    Emptysoul Well-Known Member

    Well still here, feel like crap too much going on in my head its just a jumble that makes no sense. couldnt stay online last nite my mate wanted to go to bed and i have no internet at home.
    I feel like just giving away the last of my belongings including my car and just walking away from everything and everyone i know, just keep walking to i find myself or i die
     
  10. Whispers

    Whispers Banned Member

    It would be smarter to stay here with me and talk through the problems. No since in doing it by yourself. Let me be there with you and see if I can help. We all need help from time to time.
     
  11. Emptysoul

    Emptysoul Well-Known Member

    Talking, now theres something im not good at. my heads all messed up so am I, dont think i can explain it. im a little angry but more frustrated and... oh the words gone now...think its gone for a walk along with my ability to get to sleep for more than 4 hours, mabie they will have some fun then come back to me but knowing my luck prob not, too much thinking got to stop just making me feel worce
     
  12. Whispers

    Whispers Banned Member

    Tell us what's troubling you.
     
  13. Emptysoul

    Emptysoul Well-Known Member

    I really dont know but.... I just cant help thinking about the last time i was raped and the time before that its just stampeding around my brain, i feel guilty angry etc my mood keeps changing i just dont know who i am anymore. keep thinking im going to get jumped every time i go out, i go into town but have to leave quick, i get worried, nervious and panic attacks, been having a lot of them recently and a feeling in my gut something like terror but not quite.
    Tho considering what i got up to last night after i went home, which wasnt a good idea in anyones books, cant help it sometimes i know i shouldnt as it made me feel worce but couldnt help it
     
  14. Whispers

    Whispers Banned Member

    When's the last time you've gone out and did something fun? How about going out for a bite to eat at a restaurant you like and catch a movie after. Have a little fun and get away for a few hours. Then come back with a clear head and try and figure things out. Can't make decisions when you're not in the right state of mind.
     
  15. Emptysoul

    Emptysoul Well-Known Member

    last time... prob about 2 months ago when i was working. however i have no money so cant go and do anything, i know people say you can go out and have a good time with no cash but ive never been able to do it. i will be going out soon anyway, a friend needs a lift home and 40 miles is too far to walk
     
  16. Whispers

    Whispers Banned Member

    Maybe hang out with your friend tonight.
     
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