Had enough

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by starryeyed, Sep 2, 2012.

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  1. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    There are no words bad enough to decribe my family.
    They made me and my brother act like dogs and left us out in the cold and the rain. They tried to posion me numerous times, paid people to ruin my life and bully me. my whole life has been a lie. They robbed my inheritance and have made sure none of my friends talk to me or that i never got married or have children.
    I think they forced the college I am in to lower my marks on the essays I wrote during the year too. I am going to a counsellor and she refuses to believe i was abused. Do you know how bad that is? That nobody believes the abuse? i can't process the pain cos nobody believes me. I swear on my own life that I remember it as if it were yesterday.
    Nobody has ever been nice to me and I am forced to move collegs and move miles away to try and start a new life. i am seriously ill and have zero support from anyone. I spent my birthday this year alone but I went out and talked to strangers. I actually see 'friends' avoid me and cross the street when they see me. The police lost my assault statement and I am seriously thinking of going over their heads about this. I will get justice if by any means possible.
  2. exkend

    exkend Well-Known Member

    I am so very sorry for what your going through. You are experiencing so much betrayal and abandoment it is staggering. Your "counsellor" is not worthy of the title and has compounded your abuse by adding something called betrayal abuse, this unfortunately makes things more complicated. But unravelling all of this is the start of healing and sorting what's what. I would say that it is important you undertand that none of this is your fault, you are alone and unhappy due to failings of others. I would advise you read up on abuse and it's a/effects on children and adults. If you were abused for many years, you could be suffering from complex-ptsd, hence the isolation and fear of failure and rejection, amongst other things.
    Your suffering has a great deal of meaning to many other people, so don't see it as a failing or character flaw. I wish you all the best.

    God Bless
  3. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your reply! You're too nice
    i knew when I ended up in hospital that it was ptsd cos I remembered all of the abuse.
    I have been told by nurses and all the doctors and the counsellor that I imagined everything whicb is a fkicng joke considering how messed up my brother is. He has never finished school. worked or met anyone in his life. He was in prison and walked out of rehab twice. I have been educated to third level twice and have been published and have a career outside all of that. no Im not amazing I just fought back by trying really hard to gain approval.
    I literally went missing from home for a week and not one peron rang me to see where I was and when I came home they never spoke just kept watching tv.
    Fcked up shit and for somebody to tell me it's not real I am so damn angry. the ploice are worse they told me I deserved to get assaulted and then refused to take a statement. im going to bring these fckers down big time.
    They left me out in the rain, I nearly died I was only 3 years of age, a baby. i never knew how to walk until i was taken
    inot care and they straightened my legs, the pain growing up was intense. im lucky i can walk. but they gave me back to that family
    im damaged beyond belief
  4. exkend

    exkend Well-Known Member

    You have gone through an enourmous amount of suffering, which just shows how strong you are. Your determination to have a better future is something you should be very very proud of. Your family sound like they are incapable of giving you the support you need. I hope you realise how special you are and that you can truly appreciate the suffering of others, compassion in other words, which is a real gift.

    God Bless
  5. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    I do feel others pain a lot. I know my posts are hard to reply to as they are so bad in content. I don't I have have ever met anyone who has had the kind of lif I have had. lucky them. I am at the stage now where I am moving far away and not ONE person will even say goodbye to me or make any effprt to see me off. I have been living back here ten years and not one person rings me or texts me. It's ridiculous now at this stage.
  6. amk666

    amk666 Active Member

    You obviously deserve better than what you've been receiving & I hope dearly that you find it when you relocate.
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