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had it with life

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by neil whatnall, Nov 8, 2008.

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  1. neil whatnall

    neil whatnall New Member

    :sad: my name is neil im 42 and tired killing myself on 01/aug/08 by overdosing on my anti depression tablets but it didnt work out the way i planned.i had to spend time in a mental health hospital.while i was there i had no family or friends come and visit me.thats when i knew that no one really gives a damn if i live or die.my wife wants a divorce as she as find someone else.
    sick and tired of feeling the way i do .so after i have sorted a few things out im going to end it.no more pain.dont feel sad for me as this is want i really wanted to done now.
    the only person that will miss me will be my 9yr son.the only good thing that im going to leave behide after 42yrs.
    from neil

  2. WillST

    WillST Active Member

    I am normally in the 'suicide isn't selfish' camp but when there is a young child involved I think there is an exception.

    You clearly care about your son and you know he will miss you, yet you still are going to do it? <Mod Edit> You have to have their for your son, he deserves to have a dad.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 8, 2008
  3. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    hi neil, sorry to hear you are going thru some tough times right now, life must seem unbearable for you but please don't give up just yet.

    maybe you can explain what has brought you to the point when you feel death is better than life, maybe we can help get you to think of a different path to walk.
    never forget that there are other choices.

    willsv, please don't be negative in posts, all pain is relative and you don't know the situation, we are here for help and support.

    be safe Neil
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Neil,
    :poke::welcome:to the forum!!Stop what you are doing. You are going thru grief right now and it usually lasts a couple of months and then you will go thru anger. Sorry don't remember the other steps because I never made it past anger.(BITCH) She really screwed me, She was cheating on me, hadn't made my truck payment in three months so I lost it, And she got me for $18,000 from my 401k money.
    So you see there are others out there who have been thru the same thing. Give her the divorce because all she is going to do is keep cheating on you!! Mine came back begging me to take her back after she blew all my money up her nose. I thought about it for maybe two minutes and then I told her OH HELL NO!!! I am still alive but have pushed all my so called friends away. I have decided to stay to my self. I had a nervous breakdown and ended up in a phsyc unit for people with no insurance. It wasn't that bad. I have been in there seven times and once I got medicare I have been in the hospitals phsyc ward(much nicer).
    Don't do anything rash, if I have learned anything in all these years it is get a good therapist they are worth the money and work on a sliding payscale for those with no insurance.Take Care my friend and think about the therapist or at least going into the hospital so they can evaluate you and get you on a med regiment.StayStrong:seeyou:~Joseph~
  5. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Neil, you have sound advice from both Andy and Joseph. Better a clean and quick divorce than a dragging one that can only degenerate and the child would be the one stuck in the middle paying the price for lack of maturity in parents. All depends how far you are willing to go to keep peace for the sake of your son and his future stability. He needs his father aroud to grow healthy and will be looking for you no matter the age. Kids are themselves sponges to what goes around them so try to be as civilized and friendly for the kid's sake and keep in touch as much as possible with him. Take him out for the weekend and things like that. He is your reason to fight and to hold on Neil. His being here was your decision so keep in mind that you have responsability towards him and that later whatever you do now will come back to you so be kind and let him love you as you love him. Just dont give up on the only good thing you have going. Lots of good thoughts your way hun.

    granny x
  6. neil whatnall

    neil whatnall New Member

    joseph thanks for advice im seeing my doctor on tuesday and someone from my mental health team as well.the only thing stopping me from ending it is not seeing my son anymore.its so hard at the moment.but will try and get my life together cheers neil
  7. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Hi Neil. Sorry to hear you are feeling the way you do. I really sympathise. Apart from the support I get from people here on the forum and a couple of friends in the real world the only thing that keeps me going is the love I have for my 10 year old daughter. Pm me anytime if you feel the need to chat. Best wishes.S.
  8. neil whatnall

    neil whatnall New Member

    andy thanks for want you said,first time i tryed to kill myself i was 15 yrs old.my parents devorced when i was 9.my mom use to beat me with a big piece of wood.i told my teachers but they didnt beleave me,when i was 11 my sister started to do things to me forced me to have sex with her she was 16.i was bullyed at school.im 42 never maded any friends,had depression for 20yrs now.i take anti depression tablets which dont really work.have to have sleeping tablets to help me sleep.only good i have in my life is my son.i will try and go on for him and hope to get my life back on track. :thanks:
  9. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    finding something to live for is all we can do and children are as good a reason as any, if it wasnt for mine i wouldnt be here today.
    see if you can change your meds if they arent working and maybe try to give up the sleeping pills gradually, natural sleep if possible is better.
    i found a hobby is sometimes helpful, in my case fishing, cant get anymore relaxing than that lol.

    carry on the fight mate and be strong
  10. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Just checking on you Neil. How you feeling hun? I'm here for you as always, just pm me when needed. Lots of good thoughts for you

    be strong Neil, you can beat the beast and get back your life on track
    be well and stay safe,
    with affection,
  11. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    Dude. "The only person that will miss me will be my 9yr son?" Sometimes I just have to be gruff, and I know you're in unspeakble pain but it sickens me to see you mention your nine year-old in passing. He's not a dog. He's your boy.
  12. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    ToHelp remember what this site is for? To offer support and directional help as needed not to bash on people. You have no idea what Neil is going through to arrive to this so lets try to be helpeful will ya. thanks granny
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