i don't know anymore. i used to be so happy. i've been depressed for a long time, and now i keep going through these fucked up cycles. for a few days i'm content. not happy, not sad... just.. numb. then i become extremely angry and depressed and can't stop thinking about suicide, and that happens for a few days. then i become so so happy. but only a couple days. then it all repeats. i've had it. i can't deal with this anymore. i don't do anything wrong to anybody. i'm always there when anyone needs someone to talk to. i'm nice to everyone. and i'm alawys there if anyone needs anything. but whenever i need someone to talk to, there is nobody. all people do is judge. people walk all over me and take advantage of me. it happens time after time, and i'm so done with that bullshit. it seems like nobody really even wants me around anymore anyway. no one will miss me, it'll be better once i'm gone. i'm not looking for pity or attention. just stating how i feel. i'm having a breakdown and i can't take this anymore. i'm sorry.