Had suicidal thoughts but now glad you didnt do it?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Stevus, Jun 2, 2009.

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  1. Stevus

    Stevus New Member

    I would just like to know if you thought about it or nearly did it in the past but are now pleased you didn't go through with it. If so what did you find that made you more content to carry on. I'm asking because I'm struggling to find inspiration to do so
  2. Samsara

    Samsara Well-Known Member

    Just because if you off...then you miss out ya know? I mean, my brother offed, and everytime I see something he would have liked I say "Mike would have loved that. He made himself miss out." Plus, people miss you. No matter how much you believe it's not true, you being gone will make somebody cry, and it may surprise you who. Even people who don't like you would be sad, cuz it's a profound thing for somebody to exist one day, and not exist the next.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    There are times during mostly each day that I am reminded that I would not have experienced something if I had been successful...sometimes it is something very banal, and other times it is something rather significant...if I had done XXXX(I will edit myself :lol!:) a little more, I would never have seen and enjoyed all of these things...yes, when my pain is quite severe, I might reflexively say, "why didn't I ____", but I can usually find a way back to a place of greater understanding and self compassion...big hugs, J
  4. max0718

    max0718 Well-Known Member

    I almost attempted about a year ago. I'm now extremely glad I didn't do it! Sure, I still get suicidal, and wonder if I should have gone through with it, but those days, at least for the moment, are the minority.

    My reason for holding on is the reason why I couldn't go through with it in the first place - my family. I think after the medication FINALLY started working a bit last year, it opened my eyes and I started to see how much they were suffering as well. Depression sort of isolates you so that you can't really see what others are feeling, because your so busy trying to fight the war within. I'm basically trying to help others now to make myself feel better. Maybe that's selfish, idk but its working, at least for now.

    I'm doing a lot better now thanks to medication, a strict diet and lots of exercise. I usually struggle to get to sleep, so I go to the gym at about 9 or 10pm, which makes me sleep a lot better. All these things are helping me be more productive and face a little bit more each day. But I must say that it took me a while to be ready to even face something simple as following a diet. So the key thing I think, for me at least, was to take things slow and try one thing at a time, adding new priorities only when your comfortable doing so. If I tried all these things (diet, exercise, working, getting up early) at once, I think I would have given up in the first week!

    So thats what worked for me so far, but you have to figure out whats best for you. I came up with this after at least a year of introspection and a lot of tears, curses and confronting my own demons.

    Anyway, all the best! Hope my post made sense... :blink:

  5. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I don't know if I'm glad I didn't do it, but at the time I was glad I didn't take enough of what I was taking to kill me. I was lying in bed thinking that if I had just gone a little farther I'd be dying, and I didn't like the feeling of dying. Never being able to talk to my friends again or watch my favorite movies. I already don't know where I am who knows what death would bring me?
    I usually just cry now :dunno:
  6. iKarma

    iKarma Well-Known Member

    I have tried numerous times and was sad that I didn't succeed. I tried to kill myself about 1 hour ago, but I threw up :(.
  7. nito_a

    nito_a New Member

    Well I am not sure if I am glad either...
    I mean I think that this world doesn't make any sense at all, I hate getting up in the morning knowing that I have to live one day more you know? and actually it is so horrible for me to think that I might have a really long life just as my grandparents (they all died in their 90s) there is a history of Alzheimer, suicide, and addictions in my family and those are the main reasons why my life is so difficult. I feel anger against my parents I feel anger against myself, I feel that no matter what happens things are going to change much and time cannot be reversed and pain is always going to be there.... so you know? what is the point anyway? we are all going to die and miss things afterward and it doesn't matter because the world continues without us.....
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Stevus,

    I have been very suicidal in the past. I'm glad I didn't do it because things have gotten a lot better.
    It was mainly my counsellor that gave me the strength to carry on :)
  9. tranceadikd

    tranceadikd Member

    Nope. I have thoughts everyday and they drive me harder to want to do it. Looking back i wish i had the guts to do it 4 years ago but hadnt accepted things in my life that i have now. Now i know nothing will change and if i live another 4 years i will look back and say the same thing except with more emotional scars.
  10. jjjoooggg2

    jjjoooggg2 Well-Known Member

    Brother committed suicide when family was in denial. The family changed after that. On rare occasssions wondered what life would be like if he was still alive. Would probably still have a dysfunctional and insensitive family. After brother committed suicide, my sister committed suicide a year later. Didn't know that I had a sister til I had to goto her funeral.

    I came very close to doing it. It was less than half a year back from graduating college. And my father exploded in a restaurant because I wanted to pursue a career doing something else. He never told me that I was expected to work in the restaurant for ever until that moment. I was trying to talk to him and he kept exploding in front of the cops. If I had exploded too, we probably would have been greeted by the cops.

    Now about me: Parents wanted me to finish college. We had to goto college right after high school, even though, my brother wanted to take a year off from school before his first year. College has made me smart enough to realize that I'm in my father's prison. College has exposed me to new cities and study abroad that brought happy memories and happy places. Also I'm waiting to move to a city where I can mountain bike. So the education has made me more aware of my shackles but hopeful that someday I'll move away. I like to mountain bike. The city I live in has no hills or mountain bike trails at all. I've watched my blood pressure come from 120/80 since moving into my family's house to 190. I'm was taking three meds for high blood pressure. Doctor also wanted me on anti depress which I refused. I am know on 2 meds max dosage, and my reading just now is 180.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 8, 2009
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