Half and Half....Half to die, and Half to live

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Winslow, Apr 7, 2009.

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  1. Winslow

    Winslow Antiquitie's Friend SF Supporter

    What I mean from "Half and Half" is that I strangely feel at my best when I have both the desire to live and desire to die. The only times it gets bad is when I swing too much into the death side. And,believe it or not, it's also bad when I swing too much into the happy. Why? Well, because every time I got too happy, then soon afterwards, something devastating happened to me, which knocked me flat on my face. In other words, to stay "Half and Half" serves as a safeguard. That is, if I don't get TOO happy, then the subsequent misfortune won't affect me too adversely.

    Maybe some of you might find that useful and helpful. That is, to feel somewhat sad and glum is Not bad, if used as a safeguard in the way I described. What do you think? In my case, it certainly helps to maintain my stability.
     
  2. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    Yes i too try to be ambivalent with my thoughts but,
    Lately ive just been embracing the fuck life side of me. I lose hope as days fly by, I want to disappear and feel nothing so its decent here on this side, but my mind just cant be satisfied.
     
  3. Sparklemama

    Sparklemama Well-Known Member

    I know exactly what you mean.You dont want to be to happy because you know that something will happen eventually and when you are not prepared for it,It can be incredibly devastating and its easier to just kind of keep yourself in the middle as a way of making sure your emotions dont become to much for you.Right now i catch myself thinking about death more than usual.Even though i know a part of me wants to live its kind of comforting (in a weird way) to know that if everything becomes to much for me i can just end it and not feel this pain anymore.Its a way of giving myself some peace or something idk its weird.
     
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