What I mean from "Half and Half" is that I strangely feel at my best when I have both the desire to live and desire to die. The only times it gets bad is when I swing too much into the death side. And,believe it or not, it's also bad when I swing too much into the happy. Why? Well, because every time I got too happy, then soon afterwards, something devastating happened to me, which knocked me flat on my face. In other words, to stay "Half and Half" serves as a safeguard. That is, if I don't get TOO happy, then the subsequent misfortune won't affect me too adversely. Maybe some of you might find that useful and helpful. That is, to feel somewhat sad and glum is Not bad, if used as a safeguard in the way I described. What do you think? In my case, it certainly helps to maintain my stability.