Hallucinations

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by uncle buck, May 31, 2012.

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  1. uncle buck

    uncle buck Member

    I have to admit I am concerned even more than usual. I am withdrawing more and more every day. The urge to self harm is through the roof, and literally almost non stop. OCD out of control and very depressed. Historically, the worst down swing I have ever experienced.

    about three weeks ago, while driving, I was passed by another motorist. When I glanced into the drivers window, instead of seeing the blonde woman I knew was driving, she was snarling at me with a face like she was possessed, complete with jagged sharp teeth, demonic features, and lots of red stuff. I know i was looking at a normal 40ish blonde woman, but in my mind all I could see was this monstrous face. It was almost exactly like that kid in the exorcist. I couldn't look back at her car because I was terrified of what I would see. It has happened twice more since then, and once at a red light in traffic it happened with a pedestrian looking at me while I waited to drive. I had to roll up the window and lock the door.

    Thoughts? I mean aside from I am obviously bat shit crazy?
     
  2. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    I had an experience like that once, and only once - when I was withdrawing from heavy alcohol use. Same thing that you describe - people with demonic features staring at me, when I knew I was just looking at regular people. It could be the result of any drugs or alcohol you might have been using recently - including over the counter drugs or drugs that might have been prescribed to you. Are you on any antidepressants or anything like that, or are you a regular drinker, anything at all that could have caused a hallucination? Obviously there are mental issues that can cause hallucinations without drugs, but it's best to rule out any other possibility first before you conclude that you're losing your mind.
     
  3. uncle buck

    uncle buck Member

    No substance usage of the heavy variety. A drink here and there but thats it. No illegal substances, dont't smoke anything ever, and prescribed meds for arthritis that i have been taking for years to bring down inflammation. Sure nothing that could make me think its those for sure. Just a new wrinkle in the story of me I guess. I really think I am unravelling and thats a brutal thought process.
     
  4. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    Huh... yeah, then I would talk to a doctor about that. I thought maybe you would be on some form of antidepressants, as a lot of people here are - I've taken them before and they did have some pretty weird effects on me as far as altering my perception. But I wouldn't think arthritis meds would cause anything like that, especially if you've been on them for a while and never experienced anything like that before.

    I don't know what your personal beliefs are, but a hallucination like that sounds like something that some would consider a sign of demonic possession - I'm not entirely sure whether or not I believe in all of that, but if you are religious, you might also want to talk to a priest. If there's no chemical / substance abuse explanation, then it either has to be something mental or spiritual. I wouldn't give up hope though. There are ways to treat both of these issues. Hang in there, and just keep reminding yourself that the things you see are not real.
     
  5. uncle buck

    uncle buck Member

    I should be clearer, I was leaning toward stress and fatigue contributing to mind tricks, and that was bothering me. I didnt think for a second it could be some new form of problem. Crap.

    i wish I could go back on meds just to level off if for nothing else. Work testing guidelines prohibits most sedative style meds so I am screwed there.
     
  6. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    Oh sorry, I didn't mean to scare you... of course stress and lack of sleep can cause your mind to play tricks on you as well. I guess it depends on how vivid your hallucinations are. But you're right, fatigue can certainly be a contributing factor. About how much sleep have you been getting?
     
  7. uncle buck

    uncle buck Member

    Usually about four hours a night, with a break of about a half hour in the middle. I just wake up, wander the house for a few minutes or stare at the ceiling, then nod back off. I have to work myself to the point of exhaustion to get even close to a normal nights sleep.
     
  8. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    Well then, that combined with stress could definitely take a toll on your mental health. If you're waking up in the middle of the night before you've gotten 4 straight hours, chances are you're not even reaching REM mode. Your brain hasn't had the chance to sort out everything you've been dealing with day after day. Still, that's something you should talk to a doctor about. I'm no expert on sleep meds so I don't know which one would be safe for you to take. You might just need to take some time off and relax for a while - though I know that may not be possible. I don't get much vacation time at my job, and I'm guessing you probably don't either. Still, even just taking a "mental health day" every now and then might help you to relax. I almost never call in sick; in fact I have a bit of a reputation for being overly reliable, but even I had to call in sick earlier this month because I was dealing with too much mental anguish... trying to focus on your job while also dealing with depression can sometimes be too much to handle.
     
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