Handsome guys are SO lucky. We ugly guys deserve better treatment than we get.
- Thread starter A_New_Man
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Oh I just added that for the benefit of any ladies here who may not feel they are pretty enough. I just wanted to assure them life isnt over because of one's genetic appearance. There is hope.
I also feel that appearance shouldnt be everything. Having a good personality is a definite plus.
ok understood.
I also feel that appearance shouldnt be everything. Having a good personality is a definite plus.
ok understood.
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Love just happens. I've never made someone fall in love with me and will never make someone fall in love with me because love should be natural. You should let someone fall in love with who you are, thats what love is. You can change your bahaviour to attract someone but ultimately is down to them wether they fall in love with you or not surely?
And nice sig for someone whos not plugging love tatics :smile:
And nice sig for someone whos not plugging love tatics :smile:
They use classical conditioning to make someone fall in love with them? Jeez! That's pretty brainwash-y stuff, you know. I just had to do a Psychology exam so I know all about the Pavlov dogs stuff. I don't think anyone should be allowed to do that :unsure:
Although I admit some people get VERY desperate and willing to try anything...I mean, take The Rules for example. Anarchaic, FAKE...
I won't go on, I think you get the point :tongue: Methods like that are BAD.
Although I admit some people get VERY desperate and willing to try anything...I mean, take The Rules for example. Anarchaic, FAKE...
I won't go on, I think you get the point :tongue: Methods like that are BAD.
Love is natural, very true, or should be, and I'm personally not totally keen on date coaches such as David DeAngelo, partly because they encourage you to treat women like shit at times or try and get you to be something you're not, but even so I think it's good to read some of their stuff if only for the fact that it might give you a bit more confidence in finding that someone.
As for being ugly, I think the OP said they were 18 years old, might be wrong, but I think it's probably harder when you're a teenager. Same goes for if you come out as being gay when you're young. When you get older, these things do get easier and there are plenty of ugly guys who manage to get a girlfriend.
There are some good books around. If you have a Borders bookstore near you, check out the self-help section. Even though I'm not so young now I've found out things about women that I never even knew. Hopefully things are about to change for me.
As for being ugly, I think the OP said they were 18 years old, might be wrong, but I think it's probably harder when you're a teenager. Same goes for if you come out as being gay when you're young. When you get older, these things do get easier and there are plenty of ugly guys who manage to get a girlfriend.
There are some good books around. If you have a Borders bookstore near you, check out the self-help section. Even though I'm not so young now I've found out things about women that I never even knew. Hopefully things are about to change for me.
eh, I have really bad genetics. I was ugly as a child, constantly made fun of. Even the ugly zit faced girls and uber nerds would pick on me. I was able to look quite attractive as a teenager through exercise and diet (close to starvation) in my natural state I look like shit though. I'm quite ugly these days because I faced prolonged medical issues and was unable to diet properly or exercise. So I have experienced what it's like to be both ugly and attractive. I was only attractive for a short period of time but the way I'm treated these days is enough for me to never want to leave the house. People prejudge you %100 on your looks. If you do noble actions you'll just be the ugly guy that was able to achieve something. If you're the attractive guy and do something half as noble then everyone will praise you, you'll be rewarded, women will throw themselves at you etc.
Ivy league schools pick people based on appearance as well as grades. You will earn more money in your lifetime if you're attractive. People will go out of their way to help you. It could always be worse though. You could be like me and be diseased and living on welfare. If anything I think my reason for being is to make even the true uglies and fuckups feel better about themselves.
Ivy league schools pick people based on appearance as well as grades. You will earn more money in your lifetime if you're attractive. People will go out of their way to help you. It could always be worse though. You could be like me and be diseased and living on welfare. If anything I think my reason for being is to make even the true uglies and fuckups feel better about themselves.
T
whynot: :hug::hug::hug:
I admit i am shallow. who isnt? im a teenage girl! :laugh:
BUT...
I also have been "attractive and unattractive...when i was thin i had all the boys fawning over me. now...like none. the ones i do attract are ugly, i must admit. But i dont turn them down because of that. I look back at my ex and think "eurgh, why did i go there?" but at the time i didnt feel that way, his personality and the way he treated me "overcame" that and i thought he was darn sexy!
i think beauty is definately in the eye of the beholder.
The only reason ive turned down the last ugly guy is because his personality SUCKS. he thinks hes gods gift, he thinks hes hard (just because he wants to go in the army *rollseyes* im sorry but when you say something like "if jesus was here, id fight him too" it makes me want to kill you, and im not religious!)
Anyway my point in all this is that i dont think ugly guys are unlucky in love. I think a lot of girls (usually older...young ones (say under 16ish) dont really understand its what inside that counts and are just trying to impress their friends) I think theres definately a need for attraction in a relationship...you need chemistry otherwise whats the point, you might as well be friends.
Who knows, you prob arent ugly anyway, alot of people call themselves unattractive but to others they arent.
I admit i am shallow. who isnt? im a teenage girl! :laugh:
BUT...
I also have been "attractive and unattractive...when i was thin i had all the boys fawning over me. now...like none. the ones i do attract are ugly, i must admit. But i dont turn them down because of that. I look back at my ex and think "eurgh, why did i go there?" but at the time i didnt feel that way, his personality and the way he treated me "overcame" that and i thought he was darn sexy!
i think beauty is definately in the eye of the beholder.
The only reason ive turned down the last ugly guy is because his personality SUCKS. he thinks hes gods gift, he thinks hes hard (just because he wants to go in the army *rollseyes* im sorry but when you say something like "if jesus was here, id fight him too" it makes me want to kill you, and im not religious!)
Anyway my point in all this is that i dont think ugly guys are unlucky in love. I think a lot of girls (usually older...young ones (say under 16ish) dont really understand its what inside that counts and are just trying to impress their friends) I think theres definately a need for attraction in a relationship...you need chemistry otherwise whats the point, you might as well be friends.
Who knows, you prob arent ugly anyway, alot of people call themselves unattractive but to others they arent.
Maybe it would help if you visualized how your soulmate or long-term partner would find everything about you attractive, then rule out all the shallow closed-minded girls who won't give you even a chance. You are obviously a very nice, considerate person- that will take you anywhere ;you want to go...
Not really--beauty is in fact universal. Researchers have proven that attractiveness lies in the golden ratio, or phi. By using this geometric phenomenon, they have developed a mask for the "perfect" face, which is available for viewing here: http://www.beautyanalysis.com/index2_mba.htm.
An accurate fit usually implies beauty, whereas a mismatched fit almost always points towards ugliness. I wish attractiveness were subjective and insignficant, but in reality, it's utterly undebateable and extremely influential.
An accurate fit usually implies beauty, whereas a mismatched fit almost always points towards ugliness. I wish attractiveness were subjective and insignficant, but in reality, it's utterly undebateable and extremely influential.
S
Personally, I have never bought into any scientific definition of what is beauty. Very human nature dictates that such is relative.
What science implies is that certain features (namely symmetrical) indicate a healthy genetic profile that they BELIEVE has been useful in humans selecting a mate in reproduction.
But it doesn't define "what is attractive."
That is so relative that each of us will list a different 'Top 10 Things' if pressed to do so. Then there's the whole "beauty" vs. "sexiness" debate. Beauty isn't always sexiness, and a person who's sexy isn't always the cultural standard of 'beautiful.'
Example? I don't see what the big deal is with Pamela Anderson. She's sexy, yeah, but she's not "beautiful" IN MY OPINION. Yet my best friend thinks she's the best of both those things. My ex-girlfriend thought Brad Pitt was "just okay" but didn't get what the big deal was. Yet, she thought The Rock was perfection personified. :unsure: It really is relative.
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As far as my life goes, I live by a paraphrase of a Helena Rubeinstein quote:
There is no such thing as an ugly person. Only a lazy one.
I think there is no such thing as "ugly" unless you're talking about a person's attitude.
What science implies is that certain features (namely symmetrical) indicate a healthy genetic profile that they BELIEVE has been useful in humans selecting a mate in reproduction.
But it doesn't define "what is attractive."
That is so relative that each of us will list a different 'Top 10 Things' if pressed to do so. Then there's the whole "beauty" vs. "sexiness" debate. Beauty isn't always sexiness, and a person who's sexy isn't always the cultural standard of 'beautiful.'
Example? I don't see what the big deal is with Pamela Anderson. She's sexy, yeah, but she's not "beautiful" IN MY OPINION. Yet my best friend thinks she's the best of both those things. My ex-girlfriend thought Brad Pitt was "just okay" but didn't get what the big deal was. Yet, she thought The Rock was perfection personified. :unsure: It really is relative.
EDIT:
As far as my life goes, I live by a paraphrase of a Helena Rubeinstein quote:
There is no such thing as an ugly person. Only a lazy one.
I think there is no such thing as "ugly" unless you're talking about a person's attitude.
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I feel so bad for you. I understand what you are going through. I grew up obese so no one wanted me. As a joke, I was voted homecoming queen. Disappointments like that at a young age shape how you view relationships (at least in my case). To this day I have a hard time taking compliments or accepting love. I still see myself as that fat little girl that no one wants.
If it is any consolation, as one ages, looks become less important. The man I love is not hot. He is cute in his own way. He has more inner beauty than any I have ever seen.
If it is any consolation, as one ages, looks become less important. The man I love is not hot. He is cute in his own way. He has more inner beauty than any I have ever seen.
I can really agree with this, I guess. I've been told before I'm not 'ugly'. But to hell with taht. They were just being nice. Yeah, I'm down right disgusting, i already know I am. I'm not in the least bit attractive. I am not overweight, more so underweight, but damn, I am not 'muscly' or anything like that.
It's things like this that make just give up. It's like screw it, I'll never be good, why try?...
The worst thing is being alone.
You NEVER, EVER get used to being alone...
When you watch other people it's just like...I am sorry. I won't trigger anyone.
It's things like this that make just give up. It's like screw it, I'll never be good, why try?...
The worst thing is being alone.
You NEVER, EVER get used to being alone...
When you watch other people it's just like...I am sorry. I won't trigger anyone.
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