I am struggling I really am. I drank too much last night and was in hospital over night in the resus area of emergency then a ward. I can't cope anymore and I dont feel as though I have anything to look forward to. I drank a lot, I drank because I can't cope. It wasn't an attempt to die but one of these days it will kill me if I dont overdose first. I see a counsellor and take pills but they don't work. I am going to the doctors on Wednesday and since last time I went I have been in hospital 2x. Once for overdosing on my medication and last night when I passed out through drink. I dont have a problem with alcohol to the extent that I drink everyday or crave it, it is the way in which I use it as I use it to forget my problems. Maybe it is a cry for help I dont know, maybe being admitted to a psychiatric hospital would help but I dont want the stigma that goes with it. I dont want my family or friends or work colleagues to know the true extent of what goes on or to know what is going on at all. Maybe I am crazy I don't know! I thought a lot of the reason why I felt like the way I do was as I was having problems in my relationship, however they are all sorted now. I think I need to attribute things to it but i dont know what causes it. I have thoughts of ending it all everyday and I am thinking of ways in which I could. I dont know how much longer I can go on like this. HOw much longer will it take.