hanging by a thread

[impulse617]

I don't know how much longer I can last, this pain is unbearable. To feel like you don't matter, like you could die right now and it wouldn't make any difference to anyone, like life would just go on as if u never even existed to begin with. To feel like there isn't a soul in the world who cares about you.....its the worst feeling in the world and its eating me up inside.

I see movies of people crying when their friend dies, and it makes me cry because I know that if I was the one who died, there wouldn't be anyone who missed me. I think those people who actually have people really miss them after their gone are the luckiest people in the world.

I would do anything in the world for the people I love. I'm always there for them because I can't stand to see them hurt.....I guess that isn't enough. But its funny how they'll care about there other friends, why do I have to be the one that doenst matter?

Maybe things are better this way, maybe its just meant to me. I'm sick of crying all the time, I just can't take the pain anymore....I know what I have to do

 

[Stranger1]

Hey Impulse,
Are you giving off negative thoughts when you are talking to your friends. It's not hard to do without realizing your doing it. Have you told anyone what is happening with you? Maybe they let it out so people are avoiding you?
There has to be an underlying reason you are being treated this way! Stop and think it thru!!Take Care!~Joseph~

 

[impulse617]

Idk why I'm being treated like this, I'm 100% sure that I haven't told anyone that I wanna die.

People just don't need me in there life anymore. Nobody's life would be that different without me, so why stay??? I'd rather be dead then live wit this pain for the rest of my life.....that's why I know wat I have to do

 

[Acy]

Heya, I'm sorry to hear how much you're hurting.

Is there a specific thing that happened to start you off feeling so bad today? Perhaps it would help if you got it off your chest. If you want to talk about it privately, you can PM me.

:hug:
A.

 

[Stranger1]

Hey Impulse,
Your life does matter!!Just because a few people have wronged you doesn't mean you have to end it. Stick around the forum for a while you will see what I am talking about! You will make friends here pretty quick. It is almost like one big family looking out for each other!! Please don't harm yourself, you still have alot to live for, you just don't know it yet. That will come in time. Take care of yourself and put those others out of your mind..Stay Strong!!~Joseph~

 

[andyc68]

hi impulse
sorry to see you are hurting.
maybe your friends see you as you want them to see you so they think nothing is wrong, as you said you are 100% sure they don't know you want to die.
i know its hard to let people in and see your pain but maybe this is why they seem like they don't care, idk.

as Joesph said, stick around and you will make many friends here and maybe we can give you the confidence and strength to carry on.
you will soon find that you needed by friends here and then you could take that feeling out into the real world and you will see things differently.

please take care of yourself :hug:

 

[chidori]

Maybe they sense something is wrong and are unsure how to help? I've confided in a friend before and even when she knew I was suicidal she blew them off as nothing. At first, I thought why does she not care, but after I thought about it, suicide is a hard thing to deal with in some one you care about, you worry you might say the wrong thing so you leave it alone. Just a thought

As others have said if you need some one to talk to I'm here for you :heart: