hanging myself.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by squirreldude90, Oct 22, 2007.

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  1. I tried to hang myself once before. A long time ago now I would say and the whole experience was actually a doorway for me into a happier existence.

    And then the melancholy bites back. More and more I have found myself contemplating this again and again and I don't want to go down that route again. Burning myself doesn't work. Cutting makes me feel guilty because it makes me so much more alive. I tried hitting myself and bruises are easier to conceal but i can't even do that now because of my broken knuckles. Every time I jump from heights I just break bones. The one time I feel truly at ease is when I make myself pass out. Time just slows and theres such elation in the dreams I have. But its soon lost. I need something. Anything. I'm supposed to be the glue in my family holding it all together and I'm tearing at the seams and as each thread goes its becoming more and more unbearable.

    I just need advice, or words, or acknowledgement. I just can't do this on my own anymore...
  2. suicidal maniac

    suicidal maniac Well-Known Member

    You broke your knuckles?
  3. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    first off, :welcome: to the forum.
    there are amazing ppl here that care. i'm not sure what to say about your abuse, but please try not to hurt yourself. i for one have done it in the past and the question is, is it worth it?
    i understand the feeling of neverending pain. i have found ppl here on htis site that have helped me and countless others. please stick around and get the help you want.
    take care and feel free to pm or im me anytime.
  4. Yes, I broke my knuckles. I got somewhat down recently and just set about them with a brick...Another great move on my part it would seem...

    Worked at the time. Numbness is so overwhelming it almost hurts...but now I'm back to hating it and paining...

    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 22, 2007
  5. suicidal maniac

    suicidal maniac Well-Known Member

    So you where working with bricks and you decided to beat up your hands with a brick?
  6. No I don't work with bricks...I just happened to find one when I went out for a walk the other day...I was bad that day...Obviously...but yes
  7. flowerpot

    flowerpot Well-Known Member

    Please don't hurt yourself, you don't deserve anymore pain.
    It might help temporarily but is it really going to make things better?
    Maybe you should talk to someone who can help?
    You deserve to be happy.
  8. lulu rose

    lulu rose Guest

    I know that right now you feel like no one in the world could help you, you feel as if talking to people doesn;t help either, and you feel like theres no one to turn to.

    you feel helpless and hopeless and you feel like theres nothing left to hold onto, like your life has unraveled like a ball of string and the strands are to weak to hold.

    But please, I know it seems like nothing will work, please go to see your doctor. You dont have to make an appointment, go into your doctors surgery, walk right up to the counter and ask if you can speak to the receptionist behind the desk or if you can write her a note. The explain to her that you are suicidal, you feel like no one can help and you're there as a last resort. She cant ignore you!. She should then keep an eye on you until you can see the doctor.

    Even if you feel as if talking to someone face to face wont solve it, and even if you feel unmotivated to get up and go and do it, just do it please. And when you do, tell them everything, absolutly everything, they wont laugh at you, they wont make fun, if they refer you to a psychiatrist as to see them asap, and if you dont have your own transport and its too expensive on public transport ask if you can see them closer to home. Keep seeing the doctors, dont stop, even if you start to feel better. Keep going, theres nothing worse than a relapse.

    Please, for some people, I know that talking to people on the phone and internet isn't enough, you need to talk to someone face to face. and if you think you'd benefit from a group pshyche session, then ask your doctor if he can set that up, I'd suggest that after a few sessions of 1 on 1 with the doctors though.

    I know you've heard this all before, but belive me it's 100% true:

    no matter how alone you feel, no matter how bad it seems right now, around the corner theres always SOMETHING good, even if that corner is the hardest longest corner of your life!.

    You're never alone, there are always people out there who are willing to help, dont get discouraged by people who dont seem to want to help you. If that happens, you just find someone who does want to help you, dont stop looking!

    Suicide is a permenant solution to a temporary problem.

    right now yoiu're so low that you cant think of anything in the future that would be good or happy. But when you feel better, it might take a while but hold on. When you feel better, sit and think about all the things you want to do, all the people, all the places, everything, and who knows, you might smile.

    It only takes that shred of hope! but once you find it, dont you ever let it go! You can do it, you really really can.

    Please. PM me if you want to talk in further detail. I will do whatever I can to help you to the best of my ability and if you live local to me, I'll even come and see you if you wanted to.
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