Hanging on by a thread here

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by by-a-thread, Dec 8, 2008.

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  1. by-a-thread

    by-a-thread New Member

    I'm having a hard time hanging in here. The past year has just become too much to handle. I don't know if I'm suicidal, but I can't stop thinking about it. It all started when I started a company way too young, with a large sum of money the bank should never have given me. I'm now 29, struggling with a failing entertainment company, so in debt that most days I need to ask my fiance for lunch money and bus fare to get to my second job. And that was the status quo.

    Two months ago, my fiance and my sister got into a major argument. My sister is a little psychotic and she created an incident that was completely unfair to my fiance. My sister has a history of dishonesty, theft and manipulation, and yet, my parents decided to side with her without even asking to hear my fiance's side of the story. The whole thing culminated in my being more of less disowned by my family. Shortly thereafter, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. Then my dog started attacking people, including me (on the face, had to have my lip stitched back on).

    On Tuesday of last week, I was laid off from my second job, the one I was using to keep my head above water. If all else was equal, I wuold probably be ok, but now my fiance has told me over the weekend that she just can't take anymore, and is moving out, then going to Thailand for an extended period of time. I think she needs some space, but I don't understand why she is moving out right before going. On top of that, I won't be able to pay rent in January, and eviction is likely.

    My car is being repossessed, and the killer for the company thing is that I'm in the entertainment business, and a writer, so when the bank comes collecting, they're going to take the copyrights from my life's work. So basically, I'm losing:

    1) my fiance
    2) my home
    3) my company
    4) got laid off from my second job
    5) my dog needs to be put down
    6) My mother has cancer
    7) My family has disowned me
    8) My life's work

    Can anyone put this into perspective for me?
  2. roo_army

    roo_army Member

    It sounds like youre having a horrible time.

    I would advise you to take each day as it comes, try and solve the problems that you can, and try getting the support of your family.

    I'm sorry if that doesnt seem like that helpful. You can PM me if you like.

    Ruth x
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 8, 2008
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    The perspective is...sometimes life really s**ks...but I have found that after I have gotten through the most traumatic times, I find opportunities...I agree that you need a plan to forestall additional deterioration re business and such and remember, most ppl fail in business three times before they succeed (I also own a business and have had some devastating experiences in the past)...hope things begin to look up and know, your worth is not attached to these events...big hugs, J
  4. LostSpirit

    LostSpirit Well-Known Member

    sorry to say it.... but it seems these things always come at once. im a strong believer that we attract. what we are thinking.. so after one bad thing has happend. we are so down and destressed about it. we attract yet more distress.

    i really hope things sort them self out but take one step at a time

  5. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hiya, By-a-thread,

    You've got a lot of stressful things happening. I agree with Roo Army that maybe take things one day at a time right now.

    Your fiancee may need some time away to just think and clear her head. I wouldn't "hold onto" that as an expectation, but it's possible. :smile: If she is indeed gone for good, I'm sure you'll be sad. Take some time to get over it. Keep in touch with friends and go out and participate in activities (hiking, running, going for tea or coffee) with other people while you get over things.

    Your job situation is a hard one. If your money is absolutely depleted, perhaps you can find another job - a "survival" job doing anything - until you can find something better. (I'm almost in that spot myself, so I know it's not fun.) Your career isn't over, though. :smile: You can pick up the pieces and get back to where you need to be. A lot of successful business people have business failures before they start the one that really takes off! It may take some time, but you can resolve things. Be patient with the process and with yourself, hun.

    I'm sorry about your dog. That is always hard to deal with. Our pets give us such unconditional love.

    I'm sorry to hear about your mother. No matter how serious it is, it may not be terminal - miracles can happen. No matter what, being positive and enjoying any time you have with her will help you both.

    I don't know what to say about your family's disowning you. Many people find their friends - extended family - are sometimes closer than their blood-relations. Stay in touch with people you know or make sure you get out where you can meet new people.

    You are an adult - "all grown up" - but 29 is young. You are still at the beginning of your life. It is not ALL over. I think you have the ability to be successful. To just start a business, to have had a fiancee (some people don't even date), to have the pluck to take a second job...Those are all good things. Build your future on those.
    One day at a time...until things are worked out and smooth again.

  6. by-a-thread

    by-a-thread New Member

    You know, it's not so much the business problems, they are a long time coming. It's just the combination of everything at the same time. I took the second job to be able to support my company and keep it going, but the new job wasn't paying what they said it would, and I was ultimately laid off. I've been prepared for the inevitability of the company not working out. The problem is that everything else is greatly complicating the one thing I should be doing - solving my solvency issues.

    Without a job, I'm not able to support the bookkeeping that needs to be done to either a) declare bankruptcy or b) negotiate down my debt. Both of these options cost money. I had a strong plan to deal with it. But that plan is now null and void.

    Now that my fiance is moving out, my expenses are going to double right after I lost my job. This means that all the money I had put aside to deal with the big problem is now going to go to survival. Which means that my plans for remedying the big problems are now going to fall by the way.

    The overall issue isn't any one problem, it's not even necessarily the culmination of all of them. It is, rather, that after a strong plan was made to deal with everything, the whole house of cards just came down again, just when I was starting to make progress. And, of course, now I have little to no support network.
  7. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I have truly been there...wanted to jump out of my skin and could not find a way to succeed (in anything)...I ran away for a few weeks until I could clear my head enough to start to take action...then I moved in baby steps until I had my footing...and yes, it is the culmination of everything...big hugs, J
  8. Jooper62

    Jooper62 Well-Known Member

    I can relate to you i had the same situation your going threw everything is hitting at you at once... and is so overwelming which i understand..the most important first is take care of yourself and deal with one situation at a time..see a therapist if need be ..thats what i had to do.. I wish i could make things go away for you but not possible...But take it by the minute and do the best you can... take care of yourself is most important.:smile:
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi, welcome to sf.

    Unfortunately I don't have any advice I can offer you, but if you need to talk im here :hug:
  10. Rockster

    Rockster Guest

    Well all i can say for you is it might seem that going into administration (i believe that is what it is) so you are able to pay back your debts are a reasonable rate that you will be able to still live off, as for your fiancee you have to realise that yes your situation is causing you stress but it would be causing her alot more stress too
  11. by-a-thread

    by-a-thread New Member

    The sad thing is with this whole scene, is that none of my debts were either bad decisions, or personal for that matter. The whole thing accumulated as the result of three bad business deals, all of which ended in either being stung completely, or non-payment in some way. I guess if I could sit down and pinpoint where I went wrong and learn from it, it would be one thing. But to watch your whole life slip through your fingers, without the added benefit of constructive reflection, is just a lot to handle. You do something with the best of intentions, and because you trust the wrong people, you end up in this situation. Quite a lesson to learn.
  12. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    It sounds like you're having a really tough time.

    There are options, though. Has your fiance actually broken up with you? While she's away, you can try to remedy your financial situation. And it's always possible to get a new job again. One thing you have to do is stay strong, you absolutely cannot let all this get to you, or it will bring worse problems. Stay strong, avoid things that can make you feel worse, you CAN get out of this situation. I can't offer great advice, being only 18 I've never owned a business or been engaged, but just stay positive. I'm sure you can find a way to fix things. :hug:

    It may take a while, but it'll be worth it in the end.
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