Hanging on by a thread

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dying_inside

Well-Known Member
#1
Litterally.

Everythings ready.

Im just waiting for that little tiny line to be broken.

Nothing and nobody can save me anymore.

I got nowhere to go for help, i let it burn all around me...

Alone lost om my mind
 

dying_inside

Well-Known Member
#3
Im.SO tired. I want nothing and dont want the opposite of nothing. What i really want is nothing at all. Im.sorry for anybody who got to know me but i cant go on living like this for them. I hate everything i hate and hate everything i dont have.

My question here is when, whete and how. I know the.bits but putting them together seems harder. Theres a little few thing i have to get in order but since im not sure how im postponing it. Maybe this is wht i havent done it yet

IM SO TIRED cant take it anymore
Thanks for listening
 

Innocent Forever

πŸ’πŸ₯œπŸŒ
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#4
Nothing, and nobody, but yourself. That little part of you that is whispering to you to hand on, that it can get better, that you are worth it, that you can do it.
 

dying_inside

Well-Known Member
#5
Im so much more scared to live than to die. Except the few thunhg i atull havent put in order, its the guilt the feeling that is stoppping me the most. Thinking about my family... i dont want to do it to them but i also dont want them to force me living a life that i dont want
 

Innocent Forever

πŸ’πŸ₯œπŸŒ
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#6
They aren't forcing you to do anything. You're forcing yourself. You shouldn't live a life you don't want to live. You should live a life you do want to live. How do you envision your life to be in a few years time? Where do you want to be then? What can you do to get there?
 

dying_inside

Well-Known Member
#9
Thank you May, you are already doing the most you could do... talking with me. I have tears on my eyes. Thank you.

My situation is not momentary or situational. Its existential, therefore, nothing can be done about it. Sorry, but thank you so much. You have such a big heart. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. <3
 
#15
The big question, what's the meaning of life? Nobody has the answer yet and it's probably specific to each individual. Is life even supposed to be meaningful? Maybe, maybe not. Animals live in constant fear and stuck in the cycle of eating and being eaten, eat sleep die. Humans are at the top of the food chain, and we seem to need something extra to justify our existence. But how much are we different from animals?

Is death the end? The scope of human's knowledge and understanding of the world we live in, our own bodies and minds is so limited. The truth is, we don't know what happens after death and people have been searching for the answer since the beginning of our existence. The grass might not be greener on the other side. All those religions our there tell us difference stories. Maybe some are pure fiction, some reveal part of the truth. At the same time we can't completely disregard those stories because what if there's truth to them? For example, catholics believe committing suicide is a sin and sends ppl to hell. Even if there's a 99.99% chance that this is untrue, would you take that 0.01% chance given how scary hell is? Buddhists believe the dead will reincarnate and be reborn again, and how good their next life will be depends on their doings in the previous life. There're documentaries, even some university professors do research on the topic of reincarnation. There seems to be some compelling evidence.

So if the current life sucks, and life after death or perhaps the next life might suck too, what can we do? I'd say the safest bet and maybe the only option is to change ourselves and try to adapt to the environment around us, because the world will not change for us. Humans are creatures of habits and we have the tendency of avoiding the uncertain/unknown. We seek for the sense of security. But the sense of security by itself is an illusion because it's based on keeping the status of the conditions fixed. Nothing in this world stays fixed and unchanged. Even the universe will cease to existence in billions of years.

We only have the power to change when we're alive (well maybe we still have the power to change after death but we don't know that). Perhaps you can try changing a job, moving to a difference place/country/from urban to nature, traveling to somewhere you've never been to, attending a meditation retreat, meeting people outside of your usual friend circle, distancing from toxic relationships, adopting or ditch a religion, reading books&words of wisdom, consulting ppl who've successfully turned their lives around. Also see if you suffer from depression. It's real mental illness and can be treated. Depression can make it hard to have the motivation to do anything, even getting out of bed.
 
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