hanging on just bearly

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Nyu, Sep 1, 2010.

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  1. Nyu

    Nyu Well-Known Member

    I have this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that things are never going to get better, and i'm only going to get hurt more as time goes by. I really just want to tie that belt around my neck and be out of here, someway, anyway. i wish i had a gun that would be easier. i don't know what to do, I just don't want to be alive anymore
     
  2. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Hi, Kira. I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. You sound very miserable and like this feeling is intense. I really hope you don't act on that, though. Do you know what it is that triggers this? Have you tried therapy at all, or medications? I hope you decide to talk to us here, instead of do something to harm yourself. :hug:
     
  3. Nyu

    Nyu Well-Known Member

    after my ex and i broke up i tried very hard to find the perfect way to kill myself, and was miserable every day. then i found someone new and was happy again but were over now and being depressed over two people is more than i can handle right now. i really cared about them both and it just seems i'm disposable to everyone. and the second guy insulted me so much and made me feel like crap the two short weeks we were dating, it seems there must really be something wrong with me that i'm not good enough for anyone and can't keep a relationship while others can. they were both the only real reasons why i was happy
     
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Kira,
    I know how hard it is on you.. Been there done that.. Give it time.. You will get past this..You sound like a good soul.. Your true mate is still out there you just haven't found him yet..Don't be so hard on your self..I wish there was more I can say to help you get past this.. I guess the main thing is thatyou have been heard and there are people here that care!!
     
  5. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I'm so sorry you went through that. I know it's not easy. It kind of sounds like you need to take time to find yourself and what you really want in life. I think you probably have a lot more value than you realize - we don't always see that. I know there were times in my past where I went through break ups and I thought I must not be worth it, or anything if they didn't love me, care or because they left. But none of that is true. I really hope you decide to work through this, it hurts and it's hard, but one day you'll look back on it, and you'll be surprised that it hurt so much at the time. I may be wrong about a couple things, but that's just kind of what I sensed you may be dealing with, if not, I'm sorry. I'm around if you need to talk. :hug:
     
  6. Nyu

    Nyu Well-Known Member

    i just texted him saying " i need someone who can be more understanding though and actually care if we break up or not"

    he responds " Fuck you i do care..u just lost me dont talk to me anymore"



    he twists everything i say =/
     
  7. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Yeah, Kira. It doesn't sound like contact with him will be very productive. It sounds like they're just twisting your words, or messing with your head - neither are things that you need right now. Maybe you shouldn't talk to him for the time being, and try to sort yourself and your head? So sorry he's treating you that way, no-one deserves that. :hug:
     
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