happening again

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by *dilligaf*, Jul 25, 2007.

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  1. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    im sitting here not being able to talk again. i dont feel like im able to tell anyone how im feeling. if i tell family they all over react. if i tell my doctor he doesnt listen. if i tell my ex who is here he will get my mum involved. if i tell friends they just get worried. no one seems to be able to make it better right now.

    i got brought some migraine tablets today. i seriously doubt i have enough to do it properly, but these pills include an ingredient that im allergic to. they make me hot, sweaty, itchy beyond belief, headachy, sicky, out of it. im so tempted by them. enough to make me ill. maybe enough to do damage, who knows.

    im sick of listening to myself, i hope everyone isnt too. im sitting here with my vodka, and i know its a bad idea, but its the only thing i can do to take my mind off it. i keep thinking i am getting over these thoughts, and then they creap up on me again. :cry: im sick of it.

    i went to see a company doctor a couple of weeks ago and he told me i wasnt suffering from depression, instead i have a ''serious physchological problem'' and some kind of personality disorder. he told me that its not something that is going to be cured in a couple of weeks or months, but that it will take years......if it EVER goes. that felt like the end to me. every time i hear that sentance ''if you ever get better'' i just feel like giving up now. i cant live the rest of my life feeling like this. i just cant do it :cry:
  2. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    darling, you need to stay safe for me. Remember that night you took those pills? and what i had to do? you really wanna go back there? you told me to NEVER let you take them again. You will get past this cos im gonna make DAMN sure you do and ima make it my mission to make you happy! :wub:
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Sam it can take years..I had psychotherapy for 4 years straight..but it does get better, it gets better as the therapy progresses..tho there are some hairy moments during the therapeutic process.
    I'm thinking a change of doctor is on the cards here...nothing worse than a gp who can't or won't listen:mad:
    Hang in there..Viks is bound to get deported cos she's peeing in the pool:eek:hmy:
  4. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    thank you both :hug: :hug:

    and lol terry, is what im hoping for :wink:
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