So 3 of my 5 attempts ( of which I was hospitalized for) the first 3 all occurred within this week of time ( the 1st April 7, the 2nd April 10 and the 3rd April 11) spread over a span of 4 years. So I guess this is an anniversary for me. But the thing is I've been fighting my suicidal urges and thoughts so much in the last 2 weeks or so. I started drinking again after fighting that demon for awhile. I cut pretty bad after not doing that too for a bit. Spring is trying to peek out here, but I could care less. I could pretty much care less about everything right now. Whatever it is about this week in time, it seems to be pulling me in again. And I dont know, it just feels like giving up the fight would be so much easier and rewarding right now. It's like it's inevidible. Dont even really know why I posted this, just trying to find something I guess but I dont know what the Hell that is. God, the confusion hurts so much!!!!! Somebody please make it stop!!!! Cuz I only know one way and I'm about ready to go that route.