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Happy Birthday

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by autumn93, Aug 28, 2013.

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  1. autumn93

    autumn93 Member

    As of yesterday, Im 20. Shouldve been a fun day, but most of it was spent holding back tears. I didnt even think Id make it to 18. What the hell am I still doing here?

    I really did want more than anything to ignore my suicidal thoughts and just have fun yesterday... But how do you do that with no friends? One person wanted to see me. And of course it was my ex girlfriend so she didnt want to stay long; understandable. But what the hell, where was my family? Oh yeah, they all left for a trip to new york that i wasnt invited to on my birthday. Awesome, guys. Its not like I never see you already.

    I tried to hang out by the lake and hope something fun happens, when that became too much i went home to find my grandparents had changed the garage code and i was locked out.

    Ended up sleeping at my ex's house just so i wouldnt be alone. But now Im awake, and remembering all the reasons another year is not worth celebrating.

    Happy fucking birthday.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun im sorry your bday was not a good one and your family was not there for you. Glad your ex was there thought so you did not have to spend it all alone hugs
  3. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    happy late birthday to you

    did you get any cool gifts?

    birthday's are no fun for me at all, as a matter of fact for me- they are a guilt trip... in sted of enjoying myself, i end up looking back on the year just gone and thinking... wow, another year of my life- i'm still stuck in this hole..... it really sucks!. accomplished nothing!

    so i struggle to find reasons to celebrate
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