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Happy Ending

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by itmahanh, Jul 28, 2010.

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  1. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I don't know what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!! So lonely. So defeated. So wanting to kill myself. Cant even come here to be with people that understand. Last chance at a computer once again for who knows how long. The other night someone tried to break into my truck while I was sleeping in it. Just a fucking real bed to sleep in feels like I'm asking too much. I could walk out to the parking lot here and just do it and no one would know or find me or notice I am gone for weeks. It takes every last little piece of me to fight the urges 24/7. And I dont know why I'm fighting them any more. I don't have one damn good reason to fight them any more. Every time the urges hit me I think of it as my happy ending. God I need to be dead!!!!!!!!!!!!
  2. Azmodius

    Azmodius Well-Known Member

    I know you'll have heard this before, but don't. Even if it's just the people here, you'll be missed.
    It seems sometimes like the whole world is against us, it hurts and happens when things are at the worse. It can get better.
    It's tiring fighting constantly just to remain alive, I know this. Just trust me when I say I would care if you died, I'd miss you.
    Take it step by step, just tell yourself you'll get through this day. Tomorrow, do the same. Don't worry about the 'future', just take the days as they come to begin, hail every little victory, and swallow the bad.

    I'll be here if you need anything, PM me if you feel like it's too much. I'm here!
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i know the fight gets so dam tiring at times i know i am there too fighting dam professionals dam idiots who dont fffff care as i said before don't let the bastards win okay don't let them win because they will just sit there and not give a dam I care abt you i will always care abt you and i know you have that inner strength because you are like me you have to get mad and stay fff mad at them all take care of you take minute at a time just live for you now and your child the hell with anyone else. always here for ya okay always even when i run i am there beside you
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    So good to hear from you ....I have been worried for you...
    I can't imagine what it's like to live in your truck and how scary it would've been having someone trying to break in....
    I think you are amazing how you are coping and hope you will continue to stay strong until things get better for you...
    I for one would miss you if you go....
    take care......:hug::flowers::wub:
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Carla. I'm sorry to hear that someone tried to break into your truck as you were sleeping in it. You can have one of my guns for protection...just kidding. I'm so glad that you're okay. I was really worried about you. You're my best friend from SF and you can't give up now hun. Please don't give up. :hug:
  6. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    Im praying for you. Maybe you need to go to a shelter or another facility. We would miss you here.PLEASE STAY. I send all my love and hope.
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