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Happy Holidays or F@ck the Holidays

Discussion in 'Forum News & Updates' started by JmpMster, Nov 16, 2017.

  1. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Whether the holidays give you a chance to relax and enjoy a little more and you like the decorations and many family activities associated with Thanksgiving in the US followed by Christmas and New Year s(or various versions of those holidays dependent on your beliefs and customs) -

    -or if the holidays and the family themes make you feel lonelier than ever and hate the world around you for leaving you out, as seemingly everybody else is having a great life -

    -Or somewhere in between where holidays are a mix of bad days and good days, memories that are good and bad, wishes that this year will be better or different, and disappointment when it feels the same - etc.

    -or maybe one of the very few that genuinely see it as no more than just another day here or there and no other significance and give no thought to it at all except wondering why everybody else seems to care ....


    The holidays season is basically here and and it is a very stressful time of year. SF cannot stop the calendar, and we cannot jump it ahead 2 months to skip it. but I am asking each and every member here - to do themselves as well as the thousands of other current members and the 1500- 3000 new members that will find us here in the next 2 months looking for help, support or just a sympathetic ear - to treat YOURSELF, as well as our OTHER MEMBERS, with kindness and compassion.

    Treat yourself right- If you need help or support please let somebody know. We know we cannot change your real world life, but we cannot even offer support here unless we know you are hurting and need the help and support. We can do many things to show kindness and support, but we cannot read minds. In chat or on the forums- if you are having a tough day or tough month or tough winter- then post or speak up and let us know. You deserve the help and support. You deserve the attention. You are not bothering us here and there is nobody that deserves help more than you.

    Treat others right- If you see a post from somebody or hear somebody in chat that needs a kind word please offer it. You do not need to solve their problems or provide an answer to all of life's difficulties for them- just a kind word or two, letting them know somebody heard and understands. Take a half second to click the "like" button to show appreciation and make then feel like they were noticed. If you have the energy and feel like you have some similar experiences share your experiences with them and how you got through it or made things better. If somebody offers you a word of advice assume they mean well, even if it does not fit your situation in your opinion- at least they tried so rather than upset they did not help be glad they cared enough to try. If you can make somebody else's day a tiny bit better it often has a way of making your own day a tiny bit better too.

    We are all here for each other- as we can be when we can be. We know we cannot solve all of the problems that all of our members have, very often we cannot even solve our own problems. But we can make sure that other members know somebody heard and know somebody cared enough to say "hello" or "thank you for sharing". Particularly our new members that will join and do not know what we are about- take a moment to say hello and welcome them. Maybe you could use a new friend too. Maybe they could be that friend and it could be as easy as a "Hello, I am listening". Lets try to be there for each other and let others be there for us because every person on this forum deserves that much.

    If you are in a "good place" or at least doing okay right now and would like to volunteer as staff please let us know- the holidays are always busy and we could use the help if you have had a couple months experience here so are familiar with the forum or chat. . Leave a message in Letters to admin if interested in being a forum or chat pro and you have the availability and are feeling well enough yourself to do a little extra to help pass the holiday hours.

    Thank you for helping us make the next couple months just a little bit better whenever we can.

    - Ben
  2. shadowoflight

    shadowoflight Member

  3. sassy123

    sassy123 SF hugger Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

  4. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Thank you for the kind words Ben.
  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Thank you for the awesome post. I am good at treating others well, now I need to work on treating myself with the same care. I often feel I don't deserve as much as others, but there is really no reason why I should feel that way. I am here if anyone needs to talk, and I will reach out for support when I need it as well.
  6. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Please do- you do deserve it as much as everybody else. Take care of yourself too Witty
  7. Kiwi2016

    Kiwi2016 Forum Pro

    So well said as always Ben. And @Witty_Sarcasm i too tend to do that so thanks for reminder. Sending all hugs for the holidays...
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Damn. I think this is the best post I have ever read on this site. Fair play to you all who make SF what it is - a caring, supportive and non judgmental place of comfort, my favourite ''place'' in the world. Thanks to all you of you, ye're so damn amazing I cannot put it into words, just keep doing what ye're doing. Safe holidays :) May it be peaceful, relaxing and a time of happiness.
    Kira, BarryW, Dawn and 1 other person like this.
  9. Pash69

    Pash69 SF Supporter

    Thank you, the people on this site are amazing, I will always appreciate what you do.
    JmpMster likes this.
  10. Kira

    Kira SF Gelfling Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Due to "family" reasons or "lack" of family reasons, I really can't stand the Christmas season. It's one of my bad depressive times of the year (along with my birthday)
    It should be an enjoyable time as it's the start of Summer here in Australia and the end of the school year.
    Today was a bad day thinking about the things that trigger me about Christmas.

    Just know that if you struggle with the Christmas season too that you aren't alone. I know I'm not the only one and neither are you.
    For those of you who enjoy the holidays, I'm truly happy for you. You have a gift that many don't so when you're feeling down remind yourself of this happy time and all the things that you love about it!! Let it put a smile on your face for as long as possible! Take care everyone and please be kind to one another and yourself! :)
    JmpMster, Tears, margot414 and 5 others like this.
  11. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Alumni

    I haven't liked the holidays for years. And it seems to get worse every year. It can be hard to see other people enjoying them, when I hate them so much. But such is life. Hope all who can enjoy them.
    Tears, JmpMster and margot414 like this.
  12. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    The past few years I have not enjoyed the holidays as I was stuck at my parents or grandparents house.

    I am hoping this year will be different. I am spending it with my boyfriend's family :)
    Pash69, JmpMster and Kira like this.
  13. Kira

    Kira SF Gelfling Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Sounds fantastic Kate! I'm glad you have somewhere more positive to spend Christmas :)
    Rockclimbinggirl likes this.
  14. Pash69

    Pash69 SF Supporter

    for the first time in ages I'm looking forward to the Christmas holidays, it's just me and the family. I'm avoiding the stress of Christmas parties and visiting my extended family who say things to your face and something else behind your back or the special people who keep telling you to "pull yourself together other people have it worse than you, you know".
    So for those of you out there who are not looking forward to it, I hope your going to be ok what ever your doing and wish you all the best for the forthcoming year
    Tears, Kira, Angel368 and 1 other person like this.
  15. HumanExMachina

    HumanExMachina Pizza Spaceman Forum Pro SF Artist SF Supporter

    Christmas makes me sad because it reminds me of how innocent, blissfully naive and happy I was once, and how far I am now from that little person I used to be.
  16. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hope you have a lovely time with them, merry Christmas :)
    Rockclimbinggirl likes this.
  17. shattered dreams

    shattered dreams My scars are healed, doesnt mean the pain is gone

    I'm not looking forward to Christmas, this will be the first without any of my kids, even though i'm on 2 anti depressants I still have severe waves of depression. I just feel like i'm suffering more and more everyday.

    Christmas for me has always been a time for family togetherness, and now it's like my children don't seem to be interested in spending time with us. it's really hard for me to get around, and it took me three days just to get one of my boys to take me to the market.

    They make me feel like i'm a burden, I just wish it was over already. Christmas will never be the same...

    JmpMster and Tears like this.
  18. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    We will be here for you for comfort on Christmas day, I know it's not the same but we're here and we care.
    shattered dreams likes this.
  19. Kira

    Kira SF Gelfling Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm so very sorry @shattered dreams :(
    A lot of us are counting down the days til it's over. Some of us are blessed with family and others not. I know my situation is not because I did anything wrong. My family sucks. Unfortunately there's not much I can do except wait it out. It is very hard though. ((((hugs))))
  20. Sunday16

    Sunday16 Well-Known Member

    If you are alone this holiday, I hope you'll make this a time to be good to yourself. Treat yourself to your favorite activities, foods, places. Or do something special just for yourself. You are wonderful. You deserve to be loved and cared for. And the love you give yourself can be pretty amazing. {{{Hugs}}}
    Tears, JmpMster and Witty_Sarcasm like this.