Is this true? Will things ever change, will I ever change? Because its completely up to me, no one else. While I understand there are some things currently that are causing issues, at what point will I be able to turn myself around? During this "experience" or after? Will I make it that far? Will some impulsivness take over and that'll be that? Do I want to change? Am I just happier the way I am, do I feel safer in my negative thoughts and behaviors? Do i have the courage to actually change, to face some past demons and to deal with them, to understand myself better, to live? How do we move forward, when it feels like we are constantly on something similar to a hamster wheel? When we try so hard, yet return again going in the same circles? Its exhausting and very self defeating. Is it worth the effort to keep trying and trying and trying? At what point will we see some positive results? i'm sure there have been some, I just can't see them too well. Again, its goes back to feeling safer and comfortable in negativity and misery. How does one break this cycle??