my dla has been stopped, my boyfriend will kick me out of our apartment, my poor cat will starve to death, i will have to sell all my stuff and i will also have to cut off the internet, i am going to have a GREAT new year! what i have learned in the past 28 years of my life is humans simply do not care, if anything happens in 2012 there is a reason behind it, god is punishing all people who like to give people like me a very hard time in life and they deserve it, every second of it. can anyone tell me what i have done to deserve 28 years of misery abuse and violence and simple plain bad luck/karma? the only way to escape this hardship is to end it, there is no other way out now, i am too sick to work for a living and i relied on those benefits to survive, now that pillow has been violently yanked away from me i feel very vulnerable but i don't expect anyone here to understand that. you know how upsetting it is to be sick and to be told to be forced to work? in the uk that is the way it is now and it's only going to get worse, the PM wants people who are TERMINALLY ILL to work, yes you heard me right, people who have cancer and have months to live are told to work, i feel disgusted to be british among the lowest of the low, yes i know how hard it is in america where you don't get any help at all if you are sick, they won't even treat you if you have no insurance and leave you to die, how can a person working in medical care working in a situation like that sleep at night? i know the answer BECAUSE HUMANS ARE THE SCUM OF THE UNIVERSE AND I FEEL UTTER DISGRACE TO BE APART OF THE THIS RACE. that is why i want to end my existence and go back to the universe. yes i know there are people living in poverty countries who have nothing at all, not even clothes or shoes on their feet, i don't like to think about people suffering in that situation because it makes me sick to the stomach thinking about it, other people wouldn't even blink a eyelid or even think of the thought of being in a situation like that as some people are so naive and think cash comes from their mommies wallet or appears from thin air. anyways forget about money, the only thing i want right now is peace, ultimate peace and i can't get that living in this existence can i? my existence has no meaning, no purpose no aim in life, i've tried for 28 years spiritually and religiously to find a answer to my existence but none of those paths can give me a answer, the only answer i can give myself is that i was born here to suffer since the day i was born it makes sense, every day of my life i have suffered, i don't think i even know what happiness means anymore, i don't know what having a great family is like, i don't even understand what the concept of love means, it has no meaning as i have never experienced it in my life. so while everyone's popping the champagne and eating their chocolates till they explode this new years eve, think about the people who will be suffering this new years think about all the old and sick who have spent christmas with no one and who have never seen a friendly face for ages, i don't expect most people to care or even notice about those kind of people. anyways i've said what i have to say even though i don't know if this post will change the way people think and act, i doubt that but at least i tried, i don't know when i will decide to end it all but i know i don't have much time left before my life gets even worse from here on.