happy new year!

i thought i was doing so good, i thought i was feeling better.
But now,
me and my boyfriend broke up and i had to spend new years eve on my own. Then yesterday he calls me like nothings happned. He left me to start the year on my own, while he went off n done god knows what. How can i forgive that?
I might be losing one of my jobs, if sales dont increase wel be shut down.
Im stupidly in debt, i tried to giv people a nice christmas, then i realised most of them i shouldnt hav even botherd.
When i woke up on new years day i was severly poorly, i still am. Havnt been able to move much or eat. 3days of constant sickness.
I walked the dogs with my step dad on new years eve, we walked past a train track and i just thought to myself thats how i can do it. I keep having thoughts like that. Ive started cutting again first time in 2years. More descretly this time, not down my arms, legs or ankles. Down my sides and chest. No one can see but me.
With no friends and family who dont understand how i feel how do i cope? How do i carry on, when i dont even want to. I want to die so i can stop thinking of all the pain

 

I am sorrry bf did that to you i would walk away now and find someone that will not harm you again emotionally that way I hope you reach out to your doc okay and get some help to stop the spiralling downwards. Hugs

 

I'm new here, and I don't even know if my words could help you. I can understand why you hurt yourself. I did this too. I know how it helps making out all the pain. But, by the end, please, consider that your scars will remind you every futur day this same pain...

I don't know how to help. I understand, I can feel same way as you. *hug*

 

thanks for your messages, just to know someones read and botherd to reply helps. Thanks

 

Hi Jasmin,

I am sorry things are looking down lately....I cannot imagine how horrible a breakup is to deal with. I wish you the best of luck with your job....and, regardless of what happens with your relationship, I hope you are eventually able to move on from this breakup with healing. Take care, and know that I'm listening. :hug:

Alex