Happy people annoy me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by gone skiin', Nov 14, 2007.

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  1. gone skiin'

    gone skiin' New Member

    and this is what I think is my biggest problem. I want to be happy, but I don't want to be anything like the happy people I know. They seem so phony and are about as deep as a kiddie pool. It seems they are focused only on their own lives and the inconsequential goings-on in their circle of friends, while appearing completely apathetic to the suffering that goes on all over the world. Many of them seem like robots off an assembly line, all dressing and talking exactly the same. Forgive the generalizations, but for the most part, happy people bore me to tears.

    On the other hand, depressed people have always seemed so much more interesting to me. They're usually very intelligent, creative, soulful people who are searching for deeper answers. They are much more selfless (sometimes to a fault) and tend to be free-spirited people, or at least tried to be before society slapped them down. I would rather have a conversation with a depressed person any day over a happy one.

    So my question is: how can a person be happy when he can't stand happy people?
  2. 0000

    0000 Active Member

    Thats impossible, as if you ever become happy then you would instantly have self-loathing by your own rationale. Or at least feel two faced when you think about it.

    I believe it is OK to be happy, however some people can become filled with negativity by their own surroundings to the point of not wanting others to be happy. Those people should look at what is the cause of their negativity instead of dealing with the situations caused by it, then change their situation if they can from the core. Negativity attracts negativity!
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    You have to be happy on your own level and not by the levels society expects of us. If just being able to get up each morning makes you happy, then great. Screw what everyone else thinks. So many of the "happy" people out there are so unhappy and they don't even realize it. And so many of them just pretend to be happy and don't know how to be anything else. We are blessed (people with mental health issues) because we do seek real happiness and won't settle for anything else. We don't want the status happiness or the "Gee I have a house a new car my kids are into everyhing they want but the bank owns it all" happiness or the I've got to be better that the Jones happiness. We seek the happiness that makes our lives worthwhile each day. For some of us like you and me, that happiness seems to be so hard to capture but then the pursuit of it is what keeps us going each day. You can find happiness by sharing with others any wisdom you may have in the posts here. You can be happy knowing that you are trying to help someone else find real happiness. When happiness seems too far away you can mail me. Be safe.
  4. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    that's an interesting post. I actually agree with some of your points but I don't agree with all of the first paragraph. No-one is perfect and even though we probably should care more about the sufferings in the world, no-one should have to take the weight of the world on their shoulders, and we have a perfect right to look after ourselves. And people I know each have their unique character even though some similarities, and if you look past the faking it which all of us do at times, there are good qualities in happy people.
    Also, if you wanna improve the world, change begins with you, but you ain't gonna turn the whole world upside down, but you can impact and help other people's lives, and there's no reason at all why you can't be happy and do that.
  5. HOW

    HOW Well-Known Member

    I totally agree with you. While listening to some of the "happy" people I often think how stupid they are, and how the perceive the world in such a different way than I do.

    Depressed people think much more than other people, thinking about things other people would never dream about.
  6. Metallica*Melinda

    Metallica*Melinda Well-Known Member

    I agree with you %100!!
  7. Maaf

    Maaf Member

    That was like u stole it from me :p right on gone skiin!!! agree with everything u said there! :cool:
  8. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    Happy people have no idea what the world is like. Depressed people are the ones smart enough to realize how fucked up the world is and how ass backwards it works.

    I don't hate happy people but I hate people who refuse to see what the world is actually like, simply because they want to remain blissfully ignorant.

    The way things are now, to be stupid is to be happy.
  9. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    I disagree with that stereotype. Depression and intelligence have nothing to do with one another. Happy people are happy not because they are ignorant, happy people are happy because they have things in their lives that make them happy and likewise for people suffering from depression. I understand that there are wars being waged for childish reasons, people being murdered almost every second of every day, people just like me starving to death when their only crime was being born in the wrong place at the wrong time, and yet my friends make me happy, my goals give me purpose. Yes, it bothers me but what are you suggesting I do, wallow in sadness for the state of the world and things I cannot change? If my decision to live my life stems from a lack of intelligence then it does not bother me in the least. I would rather that than sit and weep over things that have been a part of life since its beginning. I think you need to grow up and stop judging us 'happy' people just because we live our lives the way they work for us.
  10. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I agree that if we're capable, we must take responsibility in healthy ways for the goals and circumstances that we want - that will help us achieve our personal version of happiness.

    Sadness, happiness, intelligence or stupidity are not mutually exclusive of each other.
    I think I've seen a lot of people wearing blinders; they deny the pain and/or needs of others who are less fortunate, even though they could give those less fortunate people *something* to help them. I have this little Oswald the Optimist idea that if everyone in the world stopped and cared a bit for the well-being of their neighbors (to whatever degree they can afford to care financially, physically, emotionally and mentally), then fewer people would live in such physical and emotional poverty - circumstances that can aid and abet depression. (I suppose I'm equating a lack of compassion with a lack of intelligence. And true enough, those are not exactly the same thing.)
  11. Mew

    Mew Active Member


    I'd say if anything that being depressed has shrunk my world, and not just in a physical sense. When I was happier, I would actively go out and help people, give blood, donate to a cause, do my part to make a difference and whatnot, but now that I'm depressed, I can't be bothered. Their suffering means nothing to me because all I can see is how miserable I am. The emotional barriers I've erected have decreased my capacity to empathize and maintaining those barriers saps what energy I have, so I can't look beyond my own personal hell.

    As for your question, who knows, maybe becoming happy will change your view of happy people? Or maybe you'll find/create your own kind of happiness that isn't shallow or phony? I've seen it out there and those people are some of the most soulful, compassionate, intelligent, creative, and free-spirited people I've ever met. Just being with them fills you with a warmth that comes from what I assume is there sense of purpose and joy that comes from doing 'what they're meant to do in life'. That's what happy people can do.

    Wouldn't be so quick to discount the seemingly inconsequential things friends do either. Seeing a person you care about smile over a hat she just bought, to see her being happy, to see her smile, can make you happy too. Not everything'll be the equivalent of ending world poverty, but the little things in life add up, and if anything, I'd say it's the simple pleasures that make life worth living. God, I miss being able to experience those things...
  12. Nessarose

    Nessarose Well-Known Member

    Mew said it beautifully.

    Experiencing hardships and being happy are not mutually exclusive. Happy people only depress me because I *should* be happy and grateful like they are. Being around people like that makes my faults more pronounced. Sometimes they rub off on me; sometimes I shy away from them.

    The people you're referring to are people who, I would venture to guess, are putting on masks.
  13. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    totally agree with that, i've been through some real shit and believe me it's far better to be where I am now than back there, I went through a stage where I was depressed with some things in the world but that's more likely to happen when you're depressed and feeling shit.
    You can't allow the state of the world to dictate your happiness, although if you've had bad things happen then that's understandable. You are important enough to care about yourself and have as good as life as you can.
  14. derbygirl

    derbygirl Chat and Forum Buddy

    I have to also agree with Reki (and riverbank). There is no correlation between happiness and lack of intellect, or depression and insight. Intelligence and insight is a characteristic of personality, as is happiness and depression. Whether a person is happy or depressed, intelligent and not so, depends on the individual, there are varying combinations.
    Also, ignorance is a seperate entity to intelligence. One can be intelligent, but still be ignorant of anothers feelings, behaviour etc. As can a depressed person be ignorant and a happy person can be 'deep'.
    Humans also go through huge number of different emotions: it would be kind of like saying "ok, today im happy, so im an ignorant ass who doenst give a rats about anything but myself"....for all who suffer from bipolar, that would be pretty illogical and an unfair comment.
  15. Nessarose

    Nessarose Well-Known Member

    Agreeing with what crazyizzat, Reki, and riverbank have said. I hope I didn't sound insensitive in my previous post; I was making an observation about myself. I do realize depression is an illness, and believe me, I know people struggle with it greatly and would not be depressed if they could choose. However, some of the people who seem so fake and happy might be just that...fake...and may in fact be the same depressed people we talk to online.
  16. Shock

    Shock Well-Known Member

    man, i know its bad to, i dunno, 'agree' with what youve said (considering its not "right" in "normal peoples" views ) but really I find it impossible to NOT agree with anything youve said. I honestly believe i know what you mean. I
  17. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I don't feel so much annoyed with "happy people" as I do feel envious. Why is it that so many others are happy and I'm so miserable?? Is it their material wealth? I'm always struggling to get bills paid and others just "write a check". But then, if I"d lived my life differently, starting in my youth, I might not be having these problems now... So maybe it's not "happy people" but "well adjusted people" who bother me... cause I"m not one of them...:sad:
  18. Harrowdown

    Harrowdown Well-Known Member

    i hear that

    particularly afraid of being dirt poor the rest of my life
  19. protonaut

    protonaut Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure I desire much anymore, happiness included. My expectations are not so great, I simply exist and that seems to be enough. Why should I deserve what others have? I suppose the world around us often becomes easier to accept with time.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 15, 2007
  20. Harrowdown

    Harrowdown Well-Known Member

    oh exactly

    your expetations just get so ground down into the dirt that you don't even bother to really have any anymore

    in a way strangely, i think it can be liberating n a way if that makes any sense

    you can truly be like like a a gust of wind, smooth, pliable, flexible
    alotta pointless petty things don't have to matter to you like they obviously do to other people because they really do seem small (things, problems not people)

    you can really see what matters from your spot at the bottom of the wrung
    (and i really hope im explaining this right)

    but yeah in another way its just sad

    sometimes i really do feel like a slate wiped clean with all the positive and negative connatations that implies

    then again maybe i m just straining for a bright spot in all this darkness (??)
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