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happy valentines day...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by KittyGirl, Feb 14, 2010.

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  1. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    I stayed in my room all day- off the computer; until about an hour ago.
    My inbox was filled with e-cards, and it made me feel like shit somehow...
    A 'friend' of mine called me up last night and asked why I'm not over Joe yet.
    "It's been like, 8 months, right? Why don't you just forget about him? He sucks, anyways. Always has." she laughed.
    Somehow she thought it was funny...
    I always loved him no matter what.
    It was an unconditional feeling that didn't go away-- the same as a family member, plus sexual attraction.
    I didn't care if he didn't have money or a good job or if he was the best looking guy out there--- none of that mattered, it never did.
    I haven't been able to move on at all. I've tried so much... nothing seems to make me feel any better. I hate myself for being such a weak person and depending on someone who was never dependable to begin with.

    I just finished off the pills in my med bottle...
    hopefully I'll just fall asleep and not wake up.

    Happy valentines day, everyone. I send you all my love--- whatever's left of my broken heart.
  2. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    I'm fine still-- for whatever reason...
    I just have a headache from crying all night.
    The more I try to forget things and sleep- the harder I cry.

    Shittiest night of my life.
  3. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

  4. oscilate

    oscilate Well-Known Member

    I hope the rest of your valentines day treats you better.
  5. privatename

    privatename Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry Kitty...people just don't get it, do they?
    Personally I hate Valentines Day. Just another day to make single people feel even more alone.
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Vanessa,
    Are you in therapy?? It sounds like you are in alot of pain..Maybe therapy would help you to let all those feelings out instead of bottling them up..
    It takes time to mend a broken heart.. You are stuck in the greiving stage..Keep posting here and let us give you support..You will find that the members here are very compassionate because alot of us have been there.
    I wish you the best...
  7. ace1972

    ace1972 Member

    I understand your pain. I love a woman and feel I am not worthy of her love due to my suicidal feelings and my money problems. You loved Joe the way any man wants to be loved. You are to be admired.
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