Hard few months for me...

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by KillBill, Dec 26, 2007.

  1. KillBill

    KillBill New Member

    Well back in September I lost my kitty (I don't care you think "oh just a cat") who I had for 14 years he was like my best friend since I barely have any friends. And then 2 weeks ago my grandmother died. So I am having a hard time, I want to die myself now. I feel guilty because neither of them got to go to my 16th birthday (I know it's kinda stupid but I really wanted them there). So sorry if this is a stupid post but I wanted to tell someone...
  2. 12barblues

    12barblues Member

    Whenever we loose someone or something that we love it hurts. It's not "stupid" to feel the way you feel. It's uncomfortable, but it's natural. It especially hurts on those "special" days like birthdays and christmas, and tuesdays:)
    It's ok to be vulnerable but you need to be strong as well. Happy Birthday and hang in there!
  3. Snooze

    Snooze Well-Known Member

    its not stupid at all! :hug:

    im sorry for you losses!
    You shouldn't feel guilty! AND the whole thingy about you wanting to die, you know both of your loved ones want you to live a long and a happy life!

    They are watching over for you somewhere happy and peaceful, and im sure they wouldnt want to see you do anything stupid!
  4. srnityblu

    srnityblu Well-Known Member


    Gosh never feel stupid for feeling for a family pet, or any pet. It sounds like the 14 years have meant something to you, you should never trivialize that.

    Animals provide us with comfort because they communicate with us on a different level. They can't speak and have no way of understanding us, so it is through body language, and emotion that they seem to connect with us.

    I have learned to read my cat bandit, at the way his cheeks puff up when he's in a cuddly mood. He actually slaps me in the face at times with his tail when he's sitting on the back of the couch as I watch a tv program. His tail isn't meant to hurt me, but to see if I am still there. He brings me great comfort when I need it, and he knows and does come to me for comfort when he needs it.

    They don't care how you look, and if your clothes are mismatched, all they care about is that you smell like you.

    Loosing a loved one such as a grand parent can be quite devistating, especially if you two were close. Grand parents are our connection to the past, the days of when things were hard, yet simpler, they too take you for who you are, and love you unconditionally. They have an understanding because of thier years and time on this earth, and thier wisdom seems to be what everyone strives for.

    Being sixteen is an awesome time, and I am sorry that you had to mark it with such loss. I too lost my dear grandpa when I was 16 and for me, I wrote a poem to say good bye. I tucked it away and many many many years later, I read it, and it still brought a tear to my eye, but I still have memories, and the pain is faded, and I can reflect at the positive influence he made and had on my life. In time your pain will wax and wane, and fade with the events in your life, but you can honor your grand mother by remembering her favorite flowers and planting them, or make a holiday tradition by making her favorite recipe. Write her a letter and tuck it away for a day when you can smile and remember her without the sadness.

    Allow yourself time to grieve. But please do not dwell on the sadness and pain. Your life is still vibrant and you have a wonderful future ahead of you. Your grandma would want you to live, and grow and mature to a beautiful young, wait... old woman. Your life will give you wisdom of your own and through growth and maturity, you can share your memories of your grandparents to your own grandchildren.

    Take the day as it comes, and do not fret and get anxious of what tomorrow holds, the here and now is what is important. Allow yourself to love the family and friends that are present in your life, make wonderful memories with them, so that they can reflect when they are old too. Be a positive influence on someone's life and never sell yourself short.

    Love, Shannon
  5. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Well-said Shannon! I dread the day when I will lose my beloved kitty-cat (she's 12 now), but adopting another to share your love with might help you to heal and you can help a homeless animal, which is always a good thing. I am sorry about your Grandma. It's difficult losing someone who is close to you, but she would want you to go on and try to be happy, so honor her by doing your best to enjoy the time you have here. :hug: Good luck.
  6. SadDude87

    SadDude87 Well-Known Member

    Pets are amazing. I remember crying my eyes out at about 14 when my cat died. In fact, the whole family did when we buried her. Don't feel silly about it. sorry for your loss
  7. Carcinogen

    Carcinogen Well-Known Member

    Ditto. My cat is the one being I actually like and will miss when he is gone. When he goes, I go. I'm glad I'm not the only one who would break down on their pets death. It's not at all stupid. I think people trivialise how much pets mean, and how much they help.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 7, 2008
  8. Labrynth

    Labrynth Active Member

    My kitty died when I was 18. She was 15 years old. I was so devestated and cried so much I got sent home from work for two days! Never feel silly for being sad or crying over a pet. They are as much a part of the family or as good a companion as any human being. Sometimes even better lol. I have two cats from a rescue centre now, and I am dreading the time I have to say goodbye. Its honestly perfectly ok to feel upset over the loss of a pet and there is nothing to feel ashamed of.

    I am also very sorry to hear about the loss of your grandmother :(

    I know it seems hard right now, but things will get easier. Time is a good healer. Were always around on this site if you need to talk about anything, no matter how "silly" you may think it sounds, noone will think you are silly.

    Take Care :hug: