Trapped in a horrible relationship but no strength to leave it. I have almost no money and the little I have goes to gambling and/or drinking. Day by day the feeling that everyone hates me grows stronger. My body is slowly falling apart, pain and agony is present every day. I haven't been able to "see" my future for quite some time now, all I see is it ending somehow. Tonight is particularly hard, I'm thinking of the sweet release of death now all the time. Where do you find the will to go on? I'm already on meds and have 2 regular shrink contacts, just don't feel they understand me at all.