Hard to find the will to go on

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Endlessagony, May 9, 2014.

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  1. Endlessagony

    Endlessagony Well-Known Member

    Trapped in a horrible relationship but no strength to leave it. I have almost no money and the little I have goes to gambling and/or drinking. Day by day the feeling that everyone hates me grows stronger. My body is slowly falling apart, pain and agony is present every day. I haven't been able to "see" my future for quite some time now, all I see is it ending somehow. Tonight is particularly hard, I'm thinking of the sweet release of death now all the time.

    Where do you find the will to go on? I'm already on meds and have 2 regular shrink contacts, just don't feel they understand me at all.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hard when you feel know one hears you I think the first step for you is to get into treatment ok to get help with your drinking and gambling to get the control back in your life
    Ask you doc to set you up with some addiction therapy it will help you ok not feel so dark hugs
     
  3. mark b

    mark b Well-Known Member

    The medication perhaps needs reviewing.

    Also the drinking is probably not helping any meds work well.

    You mention having little money. Can someone else help with budgeting, even looking after the cash for you, so you dont have any spare to tempt you.

    And do please seek help with the drink and gambling issues. Plenty of help out there for this.
     
  4. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Hi Endless, thank you for reaching out and asking the question where to find the strength to go on. I understand where you are at by what you've written, and am wanting to encourage you to keep asking that question until you find the resources necessary which will make a difference to your outlook. I can promise you, absolutely, that they are there, even within you, it's a question of coming to understand how to tap into them (when you feel you have nothing left and are pondering that "sweet release").

    I know the temptation to want immediate answers and easy ones at that (if you do -
    I saw a billboard recently, advertising a soda - the caption (on the picture of a skate-boarder) was: "To get to easy you have to go through hard" - and that is so true about lots of things in life. )

    What I discovered (and am still) is that the answers are not easy, but they are valuable enough to keep on searching for. In the search, awareness comes about how immediate they can be.
    Meanwhile, you need support in your journey, and SF is wonderful for that :) PM Inbox always open, if you'd like......
     
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