Hard week

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Jecie, Jan 20, 2013.

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  1. Jecie

    Jecie Active Member

    Hi Guys,

    I used to cut myself, but realised it was getting all the wrong attention. I had to wear long-sleeve shirts in the middle of summer and explaining the bandages or scars got harder. I started drinking pills. Not to kill myself. I would just drink< edit mod total eclipse method> all in one go. I have no idea why I do that. It stopped quite a while ago until last Monday.

    Last Monday my psychologist pulled the rape and molestation things out of me. I told her as much as I could remember and she told me at the end of the session that the week coming will be hard. I got sick that same night and have had 3 migraines. This morning I drank< edit mod method> and went to bed. I am awake now, but still floating from the meds. I'm so tired. I have another appointment tomorrow and I am actually dreading it. I really just want to be able to sleep late one morning, get up calmly, no telephones, no negative input, no load noises.

    The sad thing is, earlier today I realised that the only person I will allow myself to talk to, I have to pay.

    Have a great evening Guys
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 20, 2013
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun talk to your therapist ok lt therapist know what you have been doing to cope Therapist may have to slow things down a bit until you can cope without harming yourself
    I know hun i pay to see a therapist too because yes he will listen but also hun therapist is the only person who can give us skills to heal we are paying them for their knowledge and expertise I am glad you can talk here hun it is free and also people here understand and will not judge hugs
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    You have had a hard week, that's for sure. But you are still here because you are a fighter. Keep thinking positively!! And good luck with your appointment, don't dread it, look at it as an outlet to soothe your pain.
  4. Jecie

    Jecie Active Member

    Thank you so much Guys. I went to the appointment yesterday and told her how sick I got and what I did on Sunday. I was so surprised to hear her say we will give it a rest this session and do something practical to take a break. I also told my husband what I've been doing. As men are he was very matter-of-fact about it and told me to not stress about stuff like that. Sounds so simple.

    Thank you so much for replying. Reading your replies really meant a lot...and sorry for naming the meds. I must have known it wasn't allowed. I will remember to keep it vague.

    Have a great evening Guys and thanks again :)
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I'm proud of you for keeping your appointments, I know a lot of people that find it hard just don't bother going. So well done! And keep up the good work :)
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