Harder and harder to go on.

I'm half way through my first college degree, on my way to a promising career. I have a loving, slightly disfunctional, but loving family. Why can't I overcome this feeling of self loathing? Why do I have to contemplate waking up every morning? Bleh

 

Welcome and so glad you are here...Many people experience this, especially if they are depressed and have not received the care they need...is there a counseling service or such at your college where you can find someone to talk to, or do you have a family MD who can make a referral for you? It is during this time, especially with the stress of studies and such, that many ppl experience these feelings...please get the care you deserve so that you can have the pleasure of your career and such...welcome again, J

 

If you are at a public school in the US, it should have a counseling service that is free for students. I used it a few times when I was going through a really rough time in college. Most universities in the US have group therapies for different things too. I'm sure private schools in the US have the same things, and I would assume they're free too.

 

Hi LIssa08 college can be very stressful depression sneaks up on one without knowing it happened If you can talk to someone your doctor like Sadeyes has said it will help it will get you some stability to move forward without these thoughts I am glad you are posting too because sometime that helps as well hugs

 

I have no health insurance, I was denied by the state yet again ((BIG suprise)) I've been struggling with this depression non-sense since I was about 13. so about 8 years now. It's finally reached a point in my life that I needed a different outlet to keep myself from reverting back to some old bad habits. I'm very greatful to have found this site. Hoping it will help me pull through this one. I'm not sure if community college's have free resources for counseling like the Universities do.

 

Yes some colleges due have free resources for councilling please check into it okay hugs

 

Update

Well things have started to look up quite a bit. Not 100% out of the woods yet, but doing and feeling much better. ) I took everyone's advice and spoke to someone at my college. Didn't go into the counseling office. I had a very long and in depth discussion with one of my professors. I felt bad at first because we were talking about something completely different, and I kinda broke down on him. :/ It was really hard to talk for a few minutes due to the wave of tears ((He is deaf and I can't hardly use spoken English when I cry, let alone Sign language!)) but to his credit he didn't just turn and leave. He stayed and spoke with me for a while. I had to explain to him why I have been slacking off and not showing up to his class the last month or so. I felt really bad because he would email me every time I missed class and I ignored them....
Anyway! A lot of how I am feeling is easy for him to relate to. I feel helpless and feel as if no one in the world gives two craps about what I say. I tal but no one listens. He can literally relate to it because he didn't learn ASL until he was 15. His parents sent him to a Oralist school, where the students just mimicked the teachers mouth movements. He had no real communication until 15...
I ramble. Moral of the post is things are looking up, and I wanted to thank everyone here for listening and giving me a voice. I hope I can return the favor to you all ) **HUGS!**

 

Re: Update

See Lisa - when we ask for help it comes in ways we might never have expected.

Meeting this man, you seem to have shown more concern for him than for yourself - which is a beautiful thing and a sign you have a real pleasant nature.

It's almost like you were meant to meet this gentleman and you show a depth of empathy which will surely guide you through life.

Just keep an eye on how you feel - but at least you know there is a safety net there - and help if you need it.

I wish you every success in your education and whatever path you choose to take in life.

I'm sure it will be an interesting one!