A little over a month ago I gave my tools to my boyfriend, "I don't want to do this anymore," I told him. I meant it. I had woken up that morning and I felt good, great even. I couldn't even remember what it felt like to be depressed. I asked myself, "Why did I ever try to kill myself?" but just as easy as I thought that an made the decision to stop harming the world came crashing down. Within days I started freaking out; I couldn't handle stress, everything was really stressful and I couldn't handle it. I went and got new tools and started harming again. My boyfriend was so mad when he found out. "You said you were done, so you're done. I can't let you do this, you told me not to." I can't argue with that but I can't argue with this feeling. I told him I needed it, "You don't need it." I told him he doesn't understand, it's like an addiction. "I understand. I know, you don't need it." He continued to be angry with me. I don't mean to make excuses for myself but it feels impossible not to do it sometimes. I don't know how else to cope with the feelings I've been having. Is he right to be mad at me? I don't know what else to do.