How is it that watching a movie or listening to a song can bring back related memories and the exact same feelings... I was doing pretty well for a couple of weeks, then I went to see the new Harry Potter movie and a whole bunch of shit in my head from two years ago got stirred up. Like an acid flashback or something. This girl who I was desperately in love with back then, who I haven't even given much of a thought to lately, now I'm constantly thinking about her and my feelings of inferiority. We watched the first movie on her couch and I borrowed some of the books from her and read them all at the same time. Also I watched the fifth movie that summer with a couple of friends who aren't my friends anymore because of my depression. This was back when I was having bigtime suicidal thoughts for the first time and checked myself into the hospital. So I guess Harry Potter = girl I was in love with = suicidal thoughts. It's like the same memories are simultaneously some of the best and worst I've ever had. Anyway this is pretty stupid, but I was feeling fine up until watching that fucking movie yesterday.