Harry Potter fucked me up

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by palmtrees, Jul 17, 2009.

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  1. palmtrees

    palmtrees Well-Known Member

    How is it that watching a movie or listening to a song can bring back related memories and the exact same feelings... I was doing pretty well for a couple of weeks, then I went to see the new Harry Potter movie and a whole bunch of shit in my head from two years ago got stirred up. Like an acid flashback or something.

    This girl who I was desperately in love with back then, who I haven't even given much of a thought to lately, now I'm constantly thinking about her and my feelings of inferiority. We watched the first movie on her couch and I borrowed some of the books from her and read them all at the same time.

    Also I watched the fifth movie that summer with a couple of friends who aren't my friends anymore because of my depression. This was back when I was having bigtime suicidal thoughts for the first time and checked myself into the hospital. So I guess Harry Potter = girl I was in love with = suicidal thoughts. It's like the same memories are simultaneously some of the best and worst I've ever had. Anyway this is pretty stupid, but I was feeling fine up until watching that fucking movie yesterday.
  2. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    It might not be the fun thing to do (I know I could never do it) but maybe you should avoid everything harry potter until you are sure you're over her. Its what I do when I associate something with something bad (ex girlfriend, bad memory, etc.) Over time I'm sure it'll pass and you'll be able to go back to harry potter.
  3. palmtrees

    palmtrees Well-Known Member

    Heh. Well I don't really care about that, I could avoid Harry Potter for the rest of my life and it wouldn't phase me. I'm more concerned about how something so trivial can stir up awful feelings and the way memories and feelings are connected to sensory experiences. It's like, what other stuff is out there that I wouldn't even think of. Some song can come on the radio and all of a sudden I'm crying because I heard it back when things were better for me. I could see a picture of myself when I was younger and it will make me feel terrible. I can't just avoid all that stuff unless I cut myself off from civilization altogether.
  4. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    These are known as triggers. They suck, and can be found anywhere. I like the TV series Firefly, but watching it puts me on danger of a panic attack, for instance - I have many more.
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Palmtrees,
    Life is going to be full of triggers.. They can be anything..The trick is to talk it out with yourself.. Get to the root of what is causeing this..Don't discount your positive thoughts.. Bank them.. That way when you have a negative thought you can replace it with one of the positive thoughts you have banked..I hope this makes sence to you.. It's a coping skill I learned from my therapist..
    It sounds as if you have already gotten over your ex.. I still think of my exwife and it's been twenty years since I have seen her..I know that it is my daughter that triggers these thoughts, BUt I try to replace them with happier thoughts..
  6. Ash7614

    Ash7614 Active Member

    I get so many triggers to bad times.

    mostly things that related to an insanely bad acid trip like you mentioned.
    i have horrible flashbacks.

    but i get things like a particular type of day (weather -wise) that can give me the same horrid sick feeling that i had during a really down time.

    or being in a certain place or a certain smell.
    it sucks that things i could once enjoy now bring on disgusting feelings and emotions and thoughts..
  7. thepainwithin

    thepainwithin Well-Known Member

    I'm the exact same way as you. I had a girlfriend 5 years ago that I'm still recovering from. My problem is my memory, I can tell you everthing about that relationship, from our first date to our first kiss to the moment we broke up and she started dating my best friend.

    It's hard when you want to get over something but the memories are like scars tattooed on your heart.

    Don't keep anything from that relationship. She is gone now and you can't force upon her something she doesn't want (atleast without facing a rape charge >.> sorry no joking here anymore). But the best way to get over a girl is to live your life. Go out and find another girl! Prove to her that you don't need her, and in turn you will be proving to yourself that you don't need.

    Keep your head up.
  8. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    Shit man... Your girlfriend 5 years ago cheated on you with your best friend. I feel for you... it hasn't happened to me but I can sorta interpret the feeling of that happening, I think I would go insane and kill my friend I don't think I would be able to handle that reality, I know it is selfish but Id rather be dead to watch the one I love with my best friend. That would crush my heart. I swear I would reach that maximum level of rage that is stirred up inside of me and lose control. :\

    Anyway back to topic, the new Harry Potter movie sucked so much.
  9. triggs

    triggs Account Closed

    sometimes the smallest things trigger us and there's no explaining it
    i hope you feel better soon :heart:
    triggs xx
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