Harsh reality....

Discussion in 'Therapy and Medication' started by Bambi, Aug 22, 2009.

  1. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Well at the end of my annual visit to the psychiatrist he patted my on the shoulder and said "Well you have a disease that you have to deal with the rest of your life so I guess I will be seeing you next year kiddo".

    Yes being called kiddo at 40 is tough to handle but that is not what got me.

    I have been seeing my Depression/OCD/Bipolar/ Hypomania whatever-the-fuck-they-call-it-that-week as something I would "overcome" or "grow out of". Even though I have been dealing with it since I was about 12, yes some 25+ years, I have always thought that there would be a day where I did not have to live with the ups and downs, the darkness and all the other crap that comes with this.

    Well I see now that is not something very likely at all. I have come to accept it as a disease long long ago but as a life-long disease well I guess I had not taken the final step to acceptance until that little pat on the back the other day...now I realize this is likely a lifelong ordeal and I had better learn to deal with it just like anyone else who deals their disease.

    So I guess this is a step forward and I guess it took an honest comment from my pdoc to see it.

  2. kurenai

    kurenai Well-Known Member

    You may have a chronic illness but you don't have to let it control your life, even if it limits you in some ways. You see the world in a different way than others; this can be used as a strength.
  3. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Yes I have been trying to do that for years but like I said I guess I never saw it was something for life.
    One way I try to use it as a strength is here on SF but I guess denial is a powerful thing cuz until the doctor said that I was thinking someday.....oh well such is life...give you lemons you gotta make lemonade
  4. Oceans

    Oceans Well-Known Member

    from your post I feel you have come to an acceptance of your illnesses and perhaps now can be a time to find a way through life rather than try and overcome the continued struggles. Probably still be there but looking it difference.

    Good on you B
  5. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Thanks Oceans it is really quite silly, I mean I looked at as a disease but somehow thought someday my body, even after 28 years, would "overcome" it.

    It is hard because I always tell others the ups and downs do get better, and they do..downs not as low and the ups/mania not as crazed etc. but I never say "Look this is like having diabetes or Multiple Sclerosis-you have it for life and you don't see those folks bitching all the time do you? Yes it is tough but it is manageable and it does get better!" I have been reluctant to say something to this effect as it sounds less hopeful then "this too shall pass" - which is true in the sense but the implication that it is not lifelong is still there.

    Well it sure was an abrupt way for me to hear it from my pdoc...so nonchalant...but I guess I had been avoiding the obvious.

    Thanks guys for helping to maintain a positive outlook on all this.