I havent been on the site in awhile. Then my dad died. my money went down the drain and my relationship i fear is going with it too. I just felt so angry and alone once my dad left me. I have so many people around telling me its going to be ok bt it doesnt feel it. They dont have any idea how it feels to have lost there daddy, and they say it all the time, yet they continue to say they understand. how can they understand. he was my hero, my idol as i was growing up. i wrote an essay and everything on him.
So after my dad died it was be homeless or move in with my boyfriend. I chose to live with my boyfriend and its in the middle of nowhere. the next bus stop is 6 miles away. that makes me feel more icolated.(sorry for spelling) and just outside is the last place i saw my dad. i cant look outside without seeing him waving and smiling at me. I havent cut since xmas but now i need to more than ever. im resisting but only because we have a 9 year old kid int he house and hed be asking all kinds, like he did with the scars. Monday,tuesday n wednesdat i have to sit around in the house, alone while everyone else is at work or school. sometimes i just think if i do it int he morning just after they go. when they come back itl to late to do anything. Then when iwas busy picking out coffins i missed my jobseekers appointment. so they canceled my account. didnt find out til me next sign on. £200 about is just gone. a months of money. gone. because i was busy trying to pick out a coffin i could afford for my daddy. they didnt give a damn.
and now my relationship. been with this guy for nearly a year now. just before i got with him he did everything for me. he got me flowers from the park. take me out and do pictures for me. then we won me over and hasnt tried ever since. other than when i go away fro the weekend, then i come back to a flower. or this time 3. which was nice, but the spark has gone. and hes just getting very clingy lately. i love him. but the bedroom part has jumped off a cliff and being washed away, the romance is gone. its like haveing a best friend now. i need to talk to him but i dont know how to.
has anyone been through a loss of a very very close parent?
does anyone know how i can talk to my boyfriend without upsetting him?
any encouraging words or advice would be very appriciated at this time x
So after my dad died it was be homeless or move in with my boyfriend. I chose to live with my boyfriend and its in the middle of nowhere. the next bus stop is 6 miles away. that makes me feel more icolated.(sorry for spelling) and just outside is the last place i saw my dad. i cant look outside without seeing him waving and smiling at me. I havent cut since xmas but now i need to more than ever. im resisting but only because we have a 9 year old kid int he house and hed be asking all kinds, like he did with the scars. Monday,tuesday n wednesdat i have to sit around in the house, alone while everyone else is at work or school. sometimes i just think if i do it int he morning just after they go. when they come back itl to late to do anything. Then when iwas busy picking out coffins i missed my jobseekers appointment. so they canceled my account. didnt find out til me next sign on. £200 about is just gone. a months of money. gone. because i was busy trying to pick out a coffin i could afford for my daddy. they didnt give a damn.
and now my relationship. been with this guy for nearly a year now. just before i got with him he did everything for me. he got me flowers from the park. take me out and do pictures for me. then we won me over and hasnt tried ever since. other than when i go away fro the weekend, then i come back to a flower. or this time 3. which was nice, but the spark has gone. and hes just getting very clingy lately. i love him. but the bedroom part has jumped off a cliff and being washed away, the romance is gone. its like haveing a best friend now. i need to talk to him but i dont know how to.
has anyone been through a loss of a very very close parent?
does anyone know how i can talk to my boyfriend without upsetting him?
any encouraging words or advice would be very appriciated at this time x