I didn't know if this is in the right forum. I don't think I'm gonna commit suicide, < Mod edit Hazel: Method > I really wish I could turn back time to 12 years ago, to when I was 16. I fell in love with a girl, and we were together through the last 2 years of high school. She waited for me, but I couldn't get intimate with her, because I am so frigid. After I left school, I never saw her again. It's so sad. But I spent all those years thinking about her and I honestly swear I still love her. I am 28 now, and I know she has 2 children and soon getting married. It all sounds so pathetic and fucked up, but this is all the truth and it hurts me so much that I'm severerly depressed and really I just want to commit suicide. I get so angry with myself for not doing things. I am not gay or anything, I have even had crushes on other girls since then, but I don't think I'll really ever fall in love with anyone ever again. You can call me obsessed, but whatever. I don't know exactly where she lives, but she lives in the same town as me. Sometimes I drive round looking for her. Just to catch a glimse of her. I don't know what I'd do if I saw her. If I bumped into her I'd really don't know what I'd do, just fucking panic. I constantly feel like she has just died. She might as well be dead, because I'm never going to see her again. I don't go out socially, and one of the reasons is that I might see her. I couldn't stand to fake my way through a conversation with her, pretending I didn't totally want her. I'd just burst into tears, telling her I loved her. And she would think I was a psycho. For some reason I just want to tell her how I feel about her. If she could tell me that I was special to her, it would make me feel so much better. I'd probably still commit suicide though, I know we could never be together. But what I want so much is for her to love me and me to love her. I'm so frightened of finding out she doesn't give a fuck about me. I hate the fact she is and has been with other men. Maybe she never loved me and I hate that. People will obviously say that I need to move on and get on with my life and have therapy. But I just don't want to let go of this it's killing me. Please don't tell me "there are other fish in the sea", because I hate that.