Been having thoughts and urges still. So done trying. Just seems I'm failing everything around me. I am back on antidepressants. Dr saw me on Monday. Yesterday morning, I called a place to start seeing someone. It's at a university for graduate students who need supervised hours and it's on a sliding scale which we can afford. While making the appointment, they did asked about suicidal thoughts. I admitted I been having them for months, almost everyday and even yesterday. Sad thing, it's 4:30am and I been up for 2 hours and still having the thoughts and urges (even before I fell asleep). Is there an end to these thoughts? I'm just been so exhausted in struggling with my issues. Tired of being this way and living in this torment that's going through my mind all the time. So exhausted and drained mentally and physically. Just been upset lately.