hate being around other people

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by so long and goodnight, Mar 24, 2008.

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  1. so long and goodnight

    so long and goodnight Active Member

    ive been in another serious bout of depression for 5 days now. i turned off my cell since then, and go out as little as possible. i just dont want to be around other people...

    a cop came in my dorm a few minutes ago because my parents were worried because i havent been answering my phone. i just told him my phone wasnt working....i just want to wallow in my own pain like i deserve. each day the suicidal thoughts get stronger. im waiting for that breaking point
     
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i'm glad your parents are worried, sounds like you are trying to get into a worse frame of mind. what's going on that is making you so sad and suicidal right now?

    catherine
     
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Have you talked to one of your friends at college? Sometimes talking to a friend really helps.
     
  4. so long and goodnight

    so long and goodnight Active Member

    i just dont want to be here. i dont want to do this whole college thing....im failing just about every class and my parents wont be happy when they see my report card. its funny because i got nothing but A's and B's last semester and one C and they bitched at me for getting a fucking C. you know what, fuck them. they expect me to live a certain fuckin life that i dont want to live
    no, i dont want to talk to anyone. talking just isnt me...its so weird for me. i prefer not to...im too introverted. i have never liked talking about my problems my whole life. i would much rather keep it to myself
     
  5. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i know *all* about flunking out of college... LOL

    nothing wrong with re-evaluting and taking a year off, or more.... better to take time off from school & explore what your other options are, than to die.

    as for the talking, the best way to release some of the pressure of feeling suicidal is to talk to someone. it can be weird at first, scary even, but there are more supports out there than you ever imagined. it's really hard to fight depression on your own. my analogy is this: would you ask someone to heal a broken leg with willpower? changing their thinking? nah... you'd get an x-ray, maybe a cast, some physio. you just have a broken spirit right now, but it won't always be this way.

    catherine
     
  6. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Write letters to your parents (if they're webbernet savvy write emails), instant-message or email your friends. I hate talking to and being physically around people as well, these methods allow me to open up and tell people what I am thinking as an introvert because of the pseudo-anonymity.

    Also, this way you won't have police coming to visit.
     
  7. so long and goodnight

    so long and goodnight Active Member

    i dont know....i have so much talent but regardless i still think i will be a failure in life. i dont want to do this whole college thing at all. i still dont want to talk to anybody- that wont change. this forum is the closest i will go to "talking to someone" about my feelings. I have been to psychologists in the past, i hate talking to them. i dont want to talk to my "friends" because i just dont want them to see this side of me.
    i dnt want to communicate with them at all, or anyone else. i even hate leaving my dorm to get food because i have to deal with other people and people who have been calling me all this time or people who havent heard from me. i dont go on aim either because i just dont want to be seen at all. i just wish they would forget about me
     
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