hate holidays

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by silver76, Dec 17, 2007.

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  1. silver76

    silver76 Active Member

    Friends


    Do I have any?
    Does anyone have any?
    They stab you when you not looking
    They sleep with your woman
    What is the use?
    Perpetually lonely
    Can’t stand people
    If I met you on the street
    Would you remember my name?
    NO
    Are you my friend?
    Didn’t think so
    Didn’t expect it to be so
    Can you love me?
    Can you like me?
    NO
    I don’t like myself
    Two faced, Three faced
    Nobody sees the real you
    Nobody sees the real me
    Closed off from the rest of the world
    Who needs the heartache or headache?
    More people in your life
    More stress in your life
    Less feeling in your life
    Why live then
    Friends don’t care
    Don’t have any
    Don’t want any
    None want me
    I am like a poison running rampant in the body of Society.
    Society that is a joke as well
    Civilized, yeah right
    A bunch of animals ruled by there emotions
    Or lack of
    Looking for one more thing to purchase, take, or throw away
    Animals in cages of rules
    A zoo built in our minds
    Mental bars trying to hold in the impulses that can’t be caged
    Our society is built on lies
    Muhammad, God, Jehovah, Buddha
    All looking at us
    Scrutinizing us
    Ready to slap us like a misbehaving child if we step out of line
    Are any of them really there?
    Just another set of bars holding the zoo together
    Do it Pull the trigger, cut too deep, pop the pills, step in front of the bus
    Release yourself from you cage
    Flip off the zoo keepers and free yourself
    Yet Im stuck in the cage
    Looking out at the passing tourist
    Unable to free myself
    And wanting nothing more then to run free again.

    I hate the holidays. Always have. Im wrong according to the rules. Supposed to be happy. Im not. Supposed to have fun. I don't. cant remember the last time I have been happy. Been dealing with deppression for about 16 years. What is it to be happy. I dont remember. No joy from babies anymore, no joy from puppies, no joy. How can I get in the Holiday spirit, when my spirit is son empty. Hate life, hate my job, hate the world in general. But that is not true either. To hate something means you care about it in some since. I don't. Beige, everything is Beige. My life is like walking through a haze of grey. Please make it end. Please.
     
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