Hate life

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by SickOfLife, Jan 8, 2008.

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  1. SickOfLife

    SickOfLife Active Member

    Throughout my life I've been through crap, most of it unnecessary. Recently I worked so hard to get into Cambridge for medicine, and sacrificed so much time and effort for it to amount to nothing. If I got in, my life would change for the better, but the rejection made sure that didn't happen.The worst bit is I'll have to live with this label of a reject and a failure for the rest of my life.

    Now I have that really bad feeling where waking up everyday is rubbish, I just want to stay in bed and do nothing the whole day. I dread getting up to another day, more bullsh!t, exams, stress, crap in school, crap home environment. Food doesn't taste good anymore, I don't find fun from tv, sports, music, my job caring for disabled kids, going out with friends, computer games etc. I'm eating less and less and I have deteriorated so much (lost 1st. , I'm now 6st. lol) the muscles I had have wasted away, and I look like a state. I'm sure people who have been/are depressed can identify with these experiences.

    I used to be a cheery, happy and extrovert person, the funny guy with all the punchlines, the guy who wasn't afraid to put his hand up in class etc. Now I never smile, I'm never around people, I can't walk with my head held high and speaking out seems like such a hard thing to do. I also got 76 in the Burns Depression Checklist and I'm suicidal too (have been posting in the suicide subforum too)

    I'm posting in the depression subforum as I don't know how to stop the non suicidal aspects to it (constantly tired, weak, loss of appetite, crying randomly, no motivation for anything etc)

    How do I enjoy life again? Especially when it's been crap, is crap, and I can see that the future will also be crap.

    This link goes to the crap in my life and more details about the medicine rejection so it doesn't seem so insignificant

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