hate me..

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Kiba, Jun 9, 2011.

  1. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    I feel hated.. I feel as though I only bother people.. I feel like I always have to prove myself.. I feel like I've always been seen as a liar.. Is the way I view reality so fucked up..? So unbelievable..?

    I don't even understand myself.. at all.. I have all different shit happen.. pains, memories, whatever.. fuck with me and it's all real to me.. And then it fades... And nothing seemed like it ever happened.. framing me.. I frame myself..

    Why am I so fucked up..? :cry:

    I feel so alone.. Am I just too sensitive..?

    What is the point in telling people what is really going on with me, when next week it may all "magically" fade away...

    I hate my brain.. I hate how I feel so alone.. I hate how I feel as though the world hates me.. I hate how every time I get stressed some real fucked up shit happens to me.. I hate these cycles of problems..

    I feel so damn fucked up.. What the hell is wrong with me..? Am I really lying because I don't see reality correctly? Or is this shit really happening, just only I can see and feel it.. Am I thinking way too much about it..?

    Guess it may not matter to anyone else..
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    No one hates you far from it hun hugs to you
     
  3. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Well I don't hate you, so there! You seem to have a very vibrant personality. I admire the insights you offer to those in trouble. Use some of that energy to fuel your self up with good cheer. I wish I had such passion to inspire.
     
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I don't hate you Swifty...in fact I like you lots...J
     
  5. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    Thx guys... :grouphug: :(
     
  6. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    Swifty honey ..... You had such an awful time growing up in lots of different ways. I know that some of the things you think well people have had worse but some of the things you suffered were over a long period of time like emotional neglect and bullying that you become conditioned after a while to believe you are second best ...less worthy....and it makes you incomplete because a young adults emotional well being and who they are is made up in part from their childhood. Myself included and many many people here will tell you that they feel like a part of them is missing or they feel "empty" or "incomplete" and that is because as children we go through different stages that enable us to be competent complete adults. Quite alot of us here (not that i want to speak for people but some will agree) have not gone through those stages because of emotional physical sexual verbal abuse and neglect. You are not making up your problems ..you are not lying for attention. I think you hit the nail on the head with somatisation disorder. I think you have been under so much emotional stress that your minds way of coping with it is to convert it to physical pain instead. You are a lovely person swift. I think you are really great and you are not a pest or a pain to be around at all you just need some emotional support the kind you should get from your family but we can be your family :hug: xxx
     
  7. lancashirelass

    lancashirelass Well-Known Member

    I don't hate you hun you should know this by now. In fact if it wasn't for you and others on here i wouldn't be alive. *hugs*
     
  8. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    Shadowgirl:

    Yeah, I know that feeling.. I guess more so I feel at a complete loss of who I am.. But I also know it's my age right now and figuring out myself.. Thank you for your kind words. :hug:

    lancashirelass:

    :hug: I am glad your still here hun have missed you.. Thank you for taking the time to reply.