How do you recover from sexual abuse at a young age? I was 3 when it happened and I have always hated myself for as long as I can remember. I grew up knowing I was dirty and disgusting. Strangely I now base my worth on how men view me. Shouldn't it be the opposite? I feel like any man who rejects me or treats me badly is just proving that I'm worthless and don't deserve to be loved, or to be treated with respect. I was 17 when I first told anyone about the abuse (Ironically to the boyfriend who was emotionally and physically abusing me at the time) but I still feel as if I can't move past it. I can't get past feeling as if the abuser when I was 3 could tell how much of a bad person I was inside and that's what made him do it. I'm 32 now and right now I can't see any way out of the black ditch I seem to be in. If I've suffered this way for 29 years, I can't face the idea of suffering for another 29. The only way I can think of stopping the voices in my head telling me how repulsive I am is to kill myself. I just wish I had a method because I've failed at suicide twice before just like I fail at everything else.