Hate Waking Up

#1
Every morning when I wake up my first thought is dread. Another day I have to face while my mind tells me I’m an idiot and not “enough”. I wasn’t enough for my ex-husband (he had a gf for 4 years). I’m not enough with my current boyfriend. I’m just never enough.

Men want to sleep with me- that’s the easy part. But commit to me? Nope. Friends, and I use that term very loosely, are so wrapped up in their own lives and never come over. My work is suffering. I’m alone ALL THE TIME!

Been dealing with depression since I was 14yo. I’m now 49. So over life. Why won’t God take me in the place of someone else- someone who wants to live? Being sad & lonely all the time is no way to live.
 
#2
Sorry that you're feeling this way Pastry Gal
I wasn’t enough for my ex-husband (he had a gf for 4 years)
I don't think the problem was that you weren't enough, its that he was a jerk. If he had more integrity, and felt unhappy with the relationship, he would have just said something.

Sometimes people cheat just because they like the idea of cheating, not because their partner has done something wrong.

Please don't be so hard on yourself. You don't deserve so much blame.
Men want to sleep with me- that’s the easy part. But commit to me? Nope
Men who want just want to have sex are easy to find, because they tend to be very aggressive about pursuing women. They're not the kind who are looking for commitment.

Men who want commitment are out there, but harder to find.

Why won’t God take me in the place of someone else- someone who wants to live?
Hugs. I hope that SF can help
 

Petal

~*Mod Extraordinaire*~
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#3
Hi and welcome to SF.

Being sad & lonely all the time is no way to live
I can relate to this a lot, i was suffering the same some years ago so i went out and volunteered and made some friends that way.
Don't blame yourself. A lot of people are too indulged in their own lives to even think about others so don't place your self worth on what others are doing or how they are feeling.

I am sorry you feel this way and I am glad you came to SF, we're a good and friendly bunch and you're never alone here.

Wishing you the best and please don't consider suicide as an option, it definitely is not so take that off the table and start living the way you want and deserve...happy and free.
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$70.00
Goal
$255.00
Top