growing up with no father there for me mentally and physical broke me down. I hate what I see today.. my body is full of scars.. im a monster that cant show love or be loved. I want to hide and disappear.. why was I born? if my father was just planning on abandoning me why would he bring me into this world? Sure things happen between people that separate them but don't bring a life into this fucking world if your going to throw it away. Now I sit here alone.. fearfull that everyday I wake up I might end my life. The worst part is I fight to stay alive because I don't want to bring this upon my mother and sister.. I don't want them to have to wonder why I killed myself. They don't understand me and they never will.. nobody will .. I feel trapped and stuck in this position where I have to suffer so I don't hurt others.