Hate

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by xxCaycexx, Oct 13, 2014.

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  1. xxCaycexx

    xxCaycexx New Member

    Hate. That's what is building up inside of me. Hatred of myself...how could I have let this happen? Maybe I deserved it...maybe it was a punishment from some higher power...I was asking for it, I suppose..so I punish myself for it. My body groans for something to eat..no. It aches for me to stop burning and cutting...no! This is what I must do..this is my punishment and my muse. It helps me stay silent and helps me scream all at the same time..I am nothing. I'm a *****..a slut....I'm dirty..The world doesn't need me...I am a voiceless freak....HE makes me hate my body..my face...my voice...I can't take it any longer...

    As I sit in the library taking notes for my English Composition test..IT walks in...I'm not looking at the door, but I know because I can smell HIM...the all too familiar stench of his ungodly cologne...I squeeze my jaws together until my teeth crumble to dust..my thighs tremble with fear as I hold them together...I dare not speak, but in my head..I'm screaming...'PLEASE DON'T SEE ME! PLEASE!!!'...but...IT does see me...my heart rate accelerates...I can't breathe....IT hovers over me...HIS hands on my notes....it feels like the prince of darkness has just draped his cloak over my table...my whole body starts to tremble...IT whispers something in my ear..."Hey.." that's what IT whispers...that one little word is enough to send enough fear through my body to petrify an elephant....I have to get out of here..I do the unthinkable and shove out of his cage and dash for the nearest bathroom....'hey'...that one word is enough to launch me into a full blown panic attack...

    <mod edit - methods>

    Hate...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 14, 2014
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