I can't deal with this anymore. I hate hate hate my self. I am a worthless stupid ugly piece of crap and I don't want to deal with even trying to live anymore. All I ever feel anymore is pain, blackness, and hurt. I cut my arms so I can take away from that but i dont know what to do anymore. i hate hiding the cuts and i hate hiding my feelings. nobody knows what im dealing with in my life because i cover it up with fake smiles and fake laughs. i hate it. people dont get it. and i hate it. whenever i look in the mirror i hate myself. it makes me want to throw up. my parents hate me. my teachers hate me. i have bad grades. i hate it. is there really anything more to life then hate, pain, suffering, numbness, and blackness? because i sure can't find it. :cry: how the hell am i supposed to get out of this stupid place im in. maybe i should just end it all. but maybe i shouldnt. i dont know. i dont know anything anymore. and i hate it.