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hates life and just breathing one more breath

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by chrism67, Mar 15, 2012.

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  1. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    I tell them how bad im feeling. Hopeless, helpless,very irritable and angry. Worthless and lots of self condemnation, im cutting and its getting deeper to get the same effect. I feel like physically acting my anger out. And today my counselor and my therapist didnt ask if i was suicidal. And i cant bring myself to just say it. I need them to initiate it. Or do they just not care. I have it all set up. I should have everything in order by the date that i set today. And i think its pretty ironic. The date will be the birthday of my ex sister. And things got very sticky with her after my ex. Nobody knows how far my thinking goes. I feel like im living in two worlds. Or that im two people. One that smiles and sweet talks. And the one thats real and cant stand people. Hates her life and everthing about it. And just wants out. And everyone thinks is ok. I cant stand to breathe one more breath.
  2. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I want to assure you that you are not worthless, and I believe you are a normal human being just like the rest of us. Life can be frustrating when you feel like you have no control, but you do have control. You have control to seek the answers to life. You have the control to face your problems, and to forgive yourself and others for making bad choices in life. All you have to do, is do something.
    I used to feel the same way exactly, but I did nothing to change anything. Does this make sense to you? How can anyone expect change when they don't change? I ran from myself through drugs, sex, and pain. I was a terrible person to anyone and everyone I came into contact with. Why? Because I was angry. Anger my friend is like a poison. It eats at you day by day. It robs you of all the happiness you could have had.
    Every day is a fresh start. When you wake up look at it as a clean slate for yourself. Take every day one day at a time.
  3. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I used to flip myself off in the mirror every morning. Weird huh? Why did I do it? I hated myself. But I refused to see that I have the power to change myself and my circumstances. I repressed my anger and became depressed. I let it out and became violent. I did everything but deal with the issues I held onto. Call it fear of the unknown or laziness, but for some reason I wanted to do anything but deal with them. In honesty I didn't want to. As long as I held onto these issues the worst I became, and life became very unstable. I wanted a different life, with different feelings, but I held onto all my issues. How can this work? Your counselor does want to help, but he/she can only do so by how much you allow them to. Let it all out. Why are you angry? Whats the cause? Where did it begin? These are some great things to talk about. Cannot bring them up on your own? Write it down and hand it to them to ask you. It's worth a try, I would hate to see you stuck in this hateful rut when I know you can make it out. I did why can't you? I am just like you and everyone else.
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I'm sorry that you feel this way. I know how it is wearing a mask, and pretending to be happy when you aren't. It can get exhausting but at least you can let out your true feelings here. It might not mean much, but I care that you are feeling like this and I don't want anything bad to happen to you.
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