this is the first time I'm posting something. it's not my life story, its the biggest reason I don't want to be alive now. I have also other reasons but for 5 months me being in this country has made me hate living more. english isn't my first or second language so I'm not that good at it, I'm sorry for any mistakes that I might make.
I'm 19 as my profile says and I'm female. I live in a country that I hate. it wasn't my choice and my family weren't futuristic enough to leave here sooner... things are really bad now and all I can think about is to leave here as soon as I can but there are financial problems... our currency is so weak that its not possible... and all I think is that I don't want to stay here and I rather end myself... I had a few more serious attempts but they didn't work as I am here now. I prayed so maybe sth will happen and I can die by accident. but it seems God won't listen to that request. even earthquake that is possible here can't end me. I don't think any natural accident can do that either.... so now I'm stuck here but there's always an option... suicide. I guess I'm waiting to see what will happen and is it really impossible to leave this country.
my family doesn't understand why I want to leave so soon... they can't see things the way I do... I'm not exaggerating, I'm just not a fool or unrealistic or blind... the situation here affects me in ways I can't explain. I can say that it's killing me inside and I cannot tolerate it. I'm scared to explain more. not in a free country. I'm not even thinking for so good countries because they really are expensive for us. I'm thinking about a free country that will cost 400-500 $ a month! so its not like i expect so much. i just want to save myself from dying inside. its not my country or home. we have been here generations but that's it. whoever could, ran... and the ones that stayed, they couldnt leave due to age, money and other reasons. i dont know what will happen to me... but you'll know i guess. sorry for talking too much
I'm 19 as my profile says and I'm female. I live in a country that I hate. it wasn't my choice and my family weren't futuristic enough to leave here sooner... things are really bad now and all I can think about is to leave here as soon as I can but there are financial problems... our currency is so weak that its not possible... and all I think is that I don't want to stay here and I rather end myself... I had a few more serious attempts but they didn't work as I am here now. I prayed so maybe sth will happen and I can die by accident. but it seems God won't listen to that request. even earthquake that is possible here can't end me. I don't think any natural accident can do that either.... so now I'm stuck here but there's always an option... suicide. I guess I'm waiting to see what will happen and is it really impossible to leave this country.
my family doesn't understand why I want to leave so soon... they can't see things the way I do... I'm not exaggerating, I'm just not a fool or unrealistic or blind... the situation here affects me in ways I can't explain. I can say that it's killing me inside and I cannot tolerate it. I'm scared to explain more. not in a free country. I'm not even thinking for so good countries because they really are expensive for us. I'm thinking about a free country that will cost 400-500 $ a month! so its not like i expect so much. i just want to save myself from dying inside. its not my country or home. we have been here generations but that's it. whoever could, ran... and the ones that stayed, they couldnt leave due to age, money and other reasons. i dont know what will happen to me... but you'll know i guess. sorry for talking too much