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hatred for myself

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by n1234, Jan 8, 2011.

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  1. n1234

    n1234 Guest

    i am 18, have been unemployed for over a year now, not smart in any way, i am lazy, relatively ugly, horribly overweight, i have moobs and am very unnatractive to say the least, my life has been shit as long as i can remember, but everyone ive spoken to says i lead a good rich life. my parents love me, i dont get abused or anything like that, but i resent myself, i hate my life in general, im selfish, childish, a general piece of shit to be honest, i live in the middle of nowhere so i find it hard to work, i cant drive, making it harder, i cant stand education, ive always been in and out of education because of problems with bullying, expulsion etc, my so called friends live over 30 miles away, and ive even stopped seeing them now as ive found out theyre just as horrible as i am. i have nothing to live for and see no reason to carry on, but i cant help feel like if i committed suicide i would ruin my family, and despite hating them i cant bring myself to that right now, but i cant go on with life, but i dont know, im stuck in a rut here and dont know what to do :(
  2. ~Young-Violet~

    ~Young-Violet~ Banned Member

    Hello N1234,

    Sorry to hear you are having such a difficult and tough time right now, I am glad you have come here for support, we do not judge :)

    Do you have a local connection center? You could speak to them about getting a job and making money they are a advisery service and have their own website you may wish to check out :hug:

    Weather you are beautiful or ugly, looks do not matter, inner strengh/ courage does don't let how you look put you down as we are all the same.

    Many people do feel like you even if they don't get abused or are loved, but maybe theirs something missing such as true friendship or true love which may make your feelings come down. School bullying can be awful and at times very risky, I am sorry you dropped out of education please re consider getting back in. How do you tthink your paarents would feel if they lost you, there own child gone they would be destroyed like some members on here who have lost there children. We can help and support you through this really hard time, get help from us get help for yourself do you have a shrink.

  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Have you ever been assesed by professional for depression Perhaps a medical reason you are so down thyroid etc Maybe get an appt with your doctor okay just let know how you are feeling and get some test done'

    You are 18 lots of time to change to get direction a purpose in life What is it you enjoy art sports computer etc and take a course that youwill learn from but enjoy and get a career in that. Better to keep busy in something that will keep you motivated

    Check the doc out okay see what can be done to help you out of the rut your in hugs
  4. SomeoneElse

    SomeoneElse Well-Known Member

    I'm in a very similar situation to you. 18, and my parents want me to find work, seeing as I quit college due to depression (Didn't tell them that). I can't stand who I am or how I look, so I stray away from other people. Last time I saw any of my friends was over 6 months ago. I don't think it would be right to say they're even my friends anymore.

    I'm an arrogant, sarcastic prick with no real reason to be breathing.
  5. dun say that.. You are not a prick..
  6. SomeoneElse

    SomeoneElse Well-Known Member

    Yeah sure, 'cause you know me, right...

    One thing in my life caused me to be the way I am. One fucking thing dictates who I am.
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