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Hatred - how do you get rid of it?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Brighid Moon, Aug 3, 2009.

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  1. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend

    I have so much rage and hatred inside of me that it takes nothing any more for it to come out. I'm really emotionally raw, that's a big part of it, right now - but the fact is that the hatred and rage are still inside of me even when I'm not raw and I'm able to handle things a lot better than I am right now. It's all hatred and rage for every painful thing that's ever happened to me - ever abuse, every look or word or teasing, every questioning of me, everything that I've ever experienced. It's like it's all boiled up inside of me and it literally physically hurts my chest. It's like I have a boiling cauldron of black tar inside of me. I'm trying to work on this with my therapist but I only get 45 minutes at a shot every two weeks, which isn't much except to bring things up and then I'm kind of stuck with them until the next session. And in the interim more things come up and the rage continues to boil. Sometimes it boils over and that's when I get suicidal and self-destructive (because sometimes I'm really homocidal but I would never hurt another person).

    So how does a person overcome such a deep abiding hatred? How do you get over such intense rage? I can't "just let it go", because if I could I would have already. :dry:
  2. Kishin

    Kishin Member

    I know how you feel. I feel so much hatred toward the world. I have so many day dreams of hurting those people who have hurt me, that some times it consumes me. I feel so dark and sick some times, it scares me. I am not really sure why or how I have kept the darkness from coming out, but I have so far. maybe some one on here can help the two of us. the world really sucks alot of the times.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    My last nightmare i had a gun and was going to kill someone with it scare my husband out of his wits. Anger is so hard to get rid of until the pain inside is dealt with it will continue to bubble to the service as hate anger. some have said use punching bag do exercise write your anger out in journel. Until the dam pain is dealt with i don't think the anger will ever go away but how does one get the pain to go away i don't know
  4. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend

    Now see, that's what I thought too, that you just have to do something like punching a bag or some such, and now in this "anger management" they have me in they're saying "that's not how you do it, because if you let the anger out then you teach yourself to be angry" and I'm thinking that's probably a bunch of horseshit. Maybe for some people, but for myself if I could let it out "constructively" or something perhaps... I dunno. I've tried that "punch a pillow" and whatnot and it doesn't even begin to cover it. I think you're right, Mary, it's about the pain and somehow handling that part. But I'm unsure how as well.
  5. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    well if I could,I would go to Tibet and meditate with monks until all my anger was gone and I learned zen methods.Seriously.:laugh:
  6. BlondRedHead

    BlondRedHead Well-Known Member

    I have the same issue too at times. Like I will be on a thread and not like what someone says and I snap. I completely freak and I feel bad later but I can not control it. If you find a way let me know ;)
  7. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend

    That's exactly what happens to me. Something just snaps. I have no idea why most of the time, and I dwell on it for hours trying to figure it out and calm down. It's crazy. It's like my emotions are just drooling out all over the place through my seams. Then I feel horrible afterwards and so totally embarrassed. I hate it! :duh:
  8. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    i probably shouldn't have used the laughing icon when I really did mean it about the zen methods.I have heard since as long as I can remember that meditation and eastern philosophy really can lead to a more peaceful mind.I have the same anger issues,and guilt and worry and distrust ..on and on..and never took eastern philosophy or meditation seriously.Reading about it doesn't seem to be enough though.I feel a real spiritual cleansing and transformation would require an actual journey...hence the going to Tibet dream.Hope I didn't offend anyone by my laughing icon.:unsure:
  9. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend

    You didn't dear! Not at all! I wish I could laugh! I also wish I could believe in anything spiritual to help. I lost that faith long ago and am still searching for it, again. :hug:
  10. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I definitely agree with Ashes Away about the meditation and using zen methods.
    I'm another one who with the rage, but slightly different. My jealously and envy towards everyone and everything - for having things I don't have but want - turns into hate. I begin to hate them passionately and hate the world around me, and who do I hate most? The ones that rub it in my face, which ends up being the ones that tell me about it the most, friends and family.
    I've been known to go around sabotaging their good fortune because I couldn't stand the fact that they had any. Not quite homicidal but not far off.
    I thrive in peoples misfortune, when a friend would come to me and he/she was down I would love it but if he/she had good news, I had no time for them until things went badly for them. Which is another reason I had to get away from friends, I cannot go around fucking up peoples lives.
  11. Lolwut

    Lolwut New Member

    Understanding, acceptance and forgiveness.
  12. Silvio

    Silvio Well-Known Member

    Have you tried releasing it by playing a sport?
    Personally, when I feel like you do, personally I like to punch the boxing bag, it's a very productive way to release your bottled anger, cos you can visualise it's the person causing you pain and release your anger on that, go crazy at it, scream, whatever.
    Punching Bag- Solution to getting rid of anger.
  13. Ranxerox

    Ranxerox Well-Known Member

    I punch walls, and i have broken my knuckles doing this, which was bloody painful but i have gotten used to it. A punching bag is a good idea, just make sure you wrap your hands first or wear heavy bag gloves (not sparring gloves) when you hit it or you will damage your hands.
  14. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Sometimes it's not easy, but I thought this was well stated!
  15. CAD

    CAD Well-Known Member

    You could try posting on big public forums like imdb.org or gamefaqs.com. Many of their members seem to have intense emotional problems and unspent rage.
  16. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    NEw method out I haven't heard of called laugh yoga No lie my daughter came home for weekend from therapy and said it was the funniest thing and it actuallly helped. The instructor has this contagous gut laugh and gets everyone doing silly ridiculous things hey i say if it works go for it but couldn't see myself acting silly though laughing okay.
  17. Clockwork Reality

    Clockwork Reality Well-Known Member

    I took a hand-to-hand self defense class several years ago, and found that it helped enormously. For two hours in the morning, I was either kicking ass or getting my ass kicked. I came home a few times covered in bruises and bloody.

    And that was one of the few times that I've felt peaceful and conductive at work. By the time the day was over with, I'd be absolutely exhausted and my sleep was dreamless and deep.

    I can't gurantee it will work, but I've also tried the punching bag and punching the wall methods, and they don't seem to release my anger as well.
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