Hatred, isn't fun? Not. -.-

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Matt93, Dec 19, 2010.

  1. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    I really want to kill someone. I'm so fucking angry. No, that's not the way to explain it, I'm so full of hate, I can believe how much hatred that I can hold in it's unbelievable. Everyone around me seems to just see me as timid, and perhaps unable to hurt anyone, in my current state that is. Seeing as I'm rather depressed and I just want to get rid of it, I just want to end it. But, hey all this hate keeps me here, and in return all I do is lock it away and let it build up. Perhaps one should release the hate slowly, but that would be boring, not fun. Releasing the lot of it all in one go, that WOULD be fun. In fact, it would extremely fun. Just to see the faces of everyone who thinks of me as a weaker being, a being unable to harm anyone but themselves. It would be so pleasing to see the fear in their eyes, to see people scared of my true emotions deep down inside of me.

    But, I know none of that is me speaking. I wouldn't hurt anyone, unless I was directly threatened with violence. I have to get rid of this hate. But the only way I want to, is by hurting others. Gah, I think a good head smashing of my wall shall do for now.
     
  2. NoMoneyToPlease

    NoMoneyToPlease Banned Member

    What kind of situation are you in Matt?
     
  3. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    Sadly not one that I care to explain over the actual threads. PM if you wanna know.
     
  4. Cortez

    Cortez Banned Member

    I feel exactly the way you do. I am full of hate and fantasize about hurting people all the time, but I never do it, nor do I think I would.
     
  5. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    The amazing thing is, I could if I wanted to
     
  6. Romancer

    Romancer Well-Known Member

    Feel the same, though sadly, I do hurt people, not physically, but it still hurts, them and me.
     
  7. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    I know. I hurt people mentally too. I don't mean to, but I do. I just want to do some REAL damage now, it's becoming really evident that just fantasising about hurting people isn't enough any more. I don't want to become something I know I am better than, I am not a person who causes people hurting, but sadly, I want to :/
     
  8. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    Hate and anger , if we carry those emotions, how can we be content?
    I reckon its best not to hold onto those ones.
    Let go, and then it gives more room for good feelings.
     
  9. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    How am I meant to let go of them? Hate and anger are emotions that I carry, unwillingly. I can't get rid of them. I'm a conflicted and angry person at heart, it's in my blood.
     
  10. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    Well, think about it. They are hurting you, so, let them go, then no hurt.
    Not easy, i know that, used to wear the t shirt sometimes.
    But having let go myself, a little
    now i know the benefits